i suppressed myself in the past

And, usually, when the anger finally pops out it’s in the form of a psychosis - just because it took so long. Is that what you’re telling us about?

a cocktail of reasons lead to my esipodes of psychosis somewhat different in each break,

All my healthy outlets for anger were taken from me, then what did they really expect would happen next? Not the fierce angry monster that won’t stay down.

something an acquaintance of mine said a little while back-“I’m Irish Catholic, I suppress EVERYTHING!” Hehe…