Stuck under... How I used to describe my negative symptoms

This just arrived in my In-box.

“In one of the Museum’s courtyards is a swimming pool framed by a limestone deck. When seen from the deck, the pool appears to be filled with deep, shimmering water. In fact, however, a layer of water only some 10 centimeters deep is suspended over transparent glass. Below the glass is an empty space with aquamarine walls that viewers can enter.
A swimming pool IS a place where, slowly, with time, different perspectives and perceptions of self and others all come to intersect.”

When the pressure builds and I’m shutting down… I feel stuck at the bottom, looking up at the life I want… blurry and distant with no way to reach it. No matter how hard I struggle, I can’t break the surface.

It doesn’t matter how many hands reach down to try an pull me out, I’m held under by a force… as passive and as strong as tons of water, pushing down on me. It takes more then hope to break me free.


Went for a regular med check with my son yesterday. I was pretty much a silent observer at this one. He was describing how he feels his meds make his mind feel emptied out. Made me sad. I think it would help for him to start seeing a talk-therapy doc, but I dont think he will do it.

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You describe with pictures very well.
A great idea.**

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That’s very interesting. A few months ago, my son came of his meds and became very irrational and verbally abusive. I was incredibly upset and had a dream in which I saw my son, as he looks now, holding a young boy (himself at about 8 or 9 years old) underwater. His younger self didn’t appear to be dead, but was obviously being rendered powerless and unable to speak. So, yes, underwater.

Thankfully, he went back on his meds, and actually now he’s much more expressive - like his younger self!


Well, on your good days, try to catch up. Easier said than done I guess.

Here’s how I describe schizophrenia to myself.
"It’s like having a non-stop, bad headache every day, ALL day, for 34 years. But ten times worse.
I don’t have the exact solution.