Merry Christmas anyone whos kind enough to read this.
So voices thats pretty common for all of us but i dont see anyone talking about their voices moving them around. I tell my pdoc but i dont think he gets me, hes trying dont get me wrong but im not explaining it well. My voices dont just talk to me they move me physically. All the time. I feel like a robot sometimes. All they ask me is if its distressing and im kinda used to it but i would love for it to go away, i think id just sit still and relax for weeks finally. Its been going on the whole time and ive talked to my family about it a little but im trying talk to other people who are experiencing this too.
Ive definitely got twitches and muscle spasms i have tardive dyskinesia from my meds. This is distinctly different experience. Its been going on the whole time since ive come down with schizophrenia, nothing new its been 10 years of this.
I appreciate you trying to open my mind to something logical. It definitely seems to be from my illness but who knows right. Great ive got a symptom thats weird and sounds delusional to us too. Oh well it is what it is. Good to know its not normal for us.
Voices aren’t from real entities so they can’t actually move you. It could be your TD doing it though. Have you discussed this with any of your drs?
So you havent experienced this, cool. Like i said in the first post, my doctors know. Im curious that this isnt common. This whole time i just thought it was part of the deal for all of us, obviously not apparently
No worries, i appreciate you trying to figure it out with me. My doctors explanation is he thinks schizophrenia is in our subconscious but most importantly he is cool enough to be honest with me that they really dont know much about schizophrenia compared to other mental illnesses. He is a little baffled by this experience im having too its weird for sure. I thought it wouldn’t be weird on here too but seems to be novel. It be what it be.
Merry Christmas! And I just wanted to say that I experience a very similar symptom. It feels like I am not in control of my body and feel like I’m like sitting behind my eyes just watching myself do things with no control over my body. This has been happening to me for many years and I’ve come to realize that I’m starting to fall into psychosis and that is typically my warning sign to seek help. My Dr agreed that it’s probably a psychosis induced state. But just wanted to let you know that you’re not the only one experiencing this.
I really appreciate that im not the only one experiencing this! What a relief. That sounds exactly like what im going through. Thank you so much for sharing.
Ok, from what you are saying now it seems to me like a separate symptom from schizophrenia and the voices, despite the comorbid nature. Namely depersonalization. Perhaps you might look at the depersonalization angle to see if it fits your experience. I am curious though, if you feel like a passenger in your body what makes you think it’s the voices doing the moving? I have dissociated to the point of depersonalization in the past myself but at no point did I feel my hallucinations had gotten hold of my movements. Even though I could also describe my symptoms as sitting back behind my eyes watching myself do things, ultimately I was the one who initiated the whole thing, I just wouldn’t feel present within the movements but I had given the initial input they were following. For example I’d decide it was time for breakfast, make the effort to stand up and then dissociation would take over to lessen the burden on my will and keep me going. I’d go to the bathroom, walk downstairs and prepare breakfast all on auto-pilot as though it were all one big movement, but ultimately I started the movement standing up from my bed in the first place and I usually was in full control whenever I wanted to feel present again I would, usually when something good was about to happen, in this case eating. Nobody was moving me around or putting me on auto-pilot, I was doing the whole ordeal which was largely disconnected from my psychotic symptoms, I could probably put me on auto-pilot right now to some extent, heck what is typing on my phone if not my hands going on auto-pilot to match what I want to write, that’s just a type of auto-pilot we are all familiar with and we think nothing of the fact that our focus is on anything but moving our hands and yet they move and not only that do so according to our will. It’s just that in that case we are still experiencing something highly correlated with the movement while when we are walking for example we can be all over the place without it hindering the ability of our legs to keep walking and avoid obstacles despite depersonalization making us feel detached from the movement itself. I was directing it by either perceiving the obstacles or by setting goals and subgoals even though to me it didn’t necessarily feel that way all the time since I was in control I was aware of what I had relinquished and how to pick it back up. It felt more akin to putting on an emotion embedded with a goal and then making my surroundings and experience become guides for my continued actions. As a matter of fact I just tried it out, it still works but for me it’s a coping mechanism aimed at bypassing my negatives, it kicks in to gears alongside them, not the positives. If it’s not a chore for me to walk downstairs and make breakfast I don’t feel the need to depersonalize while doing it to the extent that I feel like a passenger in the whole ordeal at least. I still rely on those pathways passively but at that point they are no different from instincts.
Anyways, my experience with depersonalization is highly atypical at least from a clinical perspective. Most people, as a matter of fact all people I know, that experience depersonalization view it in no uncertain terms as a detriment to their lives and aren’t in direct control of when it kicks into gears and definitely can’t drop it at will. If my personal experience is of indication for something though it’s that it’s likely a possible comorbidity of the negative symptoms and it may act as a way to cope with the increased difficulty associated with the carrying out of tasks.
I hope you can find some sort of insight into your condition, if it’s truly depersonalization at least you can now find a group that can relate to that part of your experience specifically. If it isn’t there might still be some parallels you can draw since both conditions seem to converge on a general sense of being a passenger in your own body.
Damn im definitely gonna read that whole thing and take it in i appreciate you taking the time.
On the first few lines i read i stopped because thats just not whats going on. Its pretty clear. Its like “im gonna move you stop me” and it walks me around, pretty much does what it wants telling me to try to stop it and i cant. Every bodily function outside of my consciousness of knowing what is me can be controlled. This ■■■■raped me over and over, schizophrenia is ■■■■■■■horrible.