Always been this feeling of wanting to grow. To grow into a higher being beyond the pettiness of us all. To evolve into the next stage of human evolution. Ironically one thing on this planet does turn me in almost blithering idiot. One thing influences more then anything else on this planet. Few things make me happy as this one thing. What is this thing I hear you ask…A pair of bouncing boobs.
Sigh I need help.
Home made turkey stock sounds nice.
Nice to have some one to cook for.
I might see if i can volunteer work in future a few hours.
I really wanted to go to my horse today and go for a ride.
Twice a week i want to go.
for starters…
I had period i went riding 3 times week in forest.
kinda miss that.
mischief been goin on with those agist from i think… lies , incitred of hate ,stealing etc
Atleast got some me of me meds today.
somethin is something 
taking break from dancing.
Not enjoyed it for few months or so .
not fun when feel attacked n have do self defence etc (in spirit as such)
have no plans today
well i dropped off my paintings to the mayor’s office where the exhibition will be held. i think its gonna be a small event only open to people with mental illness and caregivers. while i waited for the schizophrenia care and bipolar care groups organizers to come i met this one lady with 3 large abstract paintings. she said it was her sister’s work but i think it was hers, and she kept asking me about hallucinations and stuff. it was okay… i enjoyed talking to her. so i left my work there and other people also left their work and handed it over to the organizers whose gonna display it. and we;re gonna see it all tomorrow. the place isnt a strategic place to have an art exhibition… well this is an improvement for someone who rarely goes out and meet people…
I got a loan of money from the bank, I am buying this sports car tomorrow
What is it?
Can you afford the repayments?
I accidentally slept till 1 pm today…
debating going into the hospital lately. i’m worried i can’t stay safe. i don’t know. my voices have so much influence over me.
is that a Toyota Celica?
should really not think about at this point and just go to the hospital
I’m going through l-theanine withdrawal. It’s like benzo withdrawal. I’m being hammered right now as I type this. I’ve only cut down from 800mg a day to 600mg.
Damn! That’s not good! Stay strong eh
I’m sorry hang in there
yeah I was loned 1400 euro
yeah its a celica, with a body kit
Nice- enjoy.
151515
I guess now some employment opportunities have opened up to you.
I had a friend that worked as a delivery driver for the local takeaway. Although you could do deliveroo or something similar.
get well soon
I think songs are made for me like the weekend I thought ‘I can feel my face’ with a girl and then he has a song about it then I thought ‘I’m a star’ and he has a song called star boy that’s just one artist why do I think like this
I used to think the TV was stealing ideas from me. It’s just part of the illness.