I don’t feel smart anymore. It really bothers me. I am not the same person I was before. I feel a lot dumber now. I can’t really compare the past with my current self. I want to work/get a job some day.
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Hey anyone on the night crew tonight?
I watched most of my movie but about 3/4ths of the way into it the crappy DVD player on my computer froze up. It said something about a disc error. I didn’t see any deep scratches on the disc so I think it’s just something with the DVD player being wonky.
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Hey Monte!
what’s the plan now that your dvd players not working?
I just got back from pump class, wasn’t gonna go because I thought the fitness instructor called me names, but watched a video on courage and decided to go , last minute.
It was awesome, I feel so good now 
How are you going?
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Oh I’m just listening to the radio now and hanging out with Jimmy. He’s sleeping, and taking up half of the bed haha.
That’s really awesome that you faced your fears and got some exercise. Good job!
haha, aww cute. Nothing like a cute cat to keep you company.
Yeah i feel really good, it definately paid off
4 days til i fly to the city to catch up with my family! I’m excited i’m gonna visit the zoo, second hand book stores, and a native wildlife sanctuary.
It’s gonna be fun and cool catching up with my Mum
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Yaaaay! I hope you have fun. I love old used bookstores.
I got a lot of exercise earlier today walking around a couple stores with my sister. Then my brother came over and helped me clean for an upcoming apartment inspection. I just have to mop my kitchen floor because it was getting late and I think my brother wanted to head home before it got dark.
Are you and your Mom pretty close?
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thanks! Yeah, i hope to find some interesting books, like maybe a biology book.
yay, did you find anything cool in the shops? you and your family sound really close. That’s nice of your brother to help you clean up.
Yeah i’d say me and my mum are close. We’ve become closer since my mental health has been improving. We were really close in the past, but sz messed round with my family feelings. But i’d say we re developing trust again and it’s going well.
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Can’t sleep, damn.
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OOO a biology book would be cool!
Yeah I found the DVD The Frighteners at a videostore, and then we walked around Walmart a little and I bought some sports drinks, cereal, and some Nivea after shave cooling balm to help out with razor burn. I’m really itching to try it haha.
That’s good you and your mother are close. I feel like my Mamacita has a deeper understanding of my MI as my father lives overseas and doesn’t see me much.
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Mmmhm I llove cereal, so yummy. I hardly ever eat it though because gluten free cereal is really expensive and I like BIG bowls of cereal haha.
that cooling balm sounds nice and a plus if it smells good.
I’m glad you and your Mamacita are close. That must be hard your Dad living overseas.
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Schizophrenia changes things, don’t compare yourself to your past self, but look at what you want to do now and try your best.
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I’m the same way I like A LOT of cereal when I have it haha. I buy these big bags of Malt O Meal cereals. They’re super cheap and you get a ton of cereal. They’re all really healthy ones too.
Yeah the shaving balm has a scent to it. According to the reviews it’s a real nice one too.
My father and I have always had a pretty complex relationship. We do love each other though.
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MMhm, that sounds yum..
By the way, are you still thinking about going to film school?
Me and my Dad used to argue a lot, but things have got better.
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I’m so damn restless, idk what to do. It’s a quarter past 3 am, and I can’t stand to lie in bed.
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Sorry to hear that bro. Hope you’re able to get some sleep. Maybe establishing a bedtime ritual can help if this is an ongoing thing.
I normally can fall asleep just fine. Just tonight I’m restless.
How’s your back?
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That’s awesome you and your Pops get a long better nowadays. I believe having at least some close family is essential when coping with this illness.
Oh yes, I want to go to my local community college’s film school. I recently submitted a letter to the VA politely asking if I could get my GI Bill that expired extended. So we’ll have to wait and see what happens.
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I see dude true… That’s good news.
My backs still out. Can’t really even stand for longer than 30 seconds. I’m doing alright tho overall 
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im excited and motivated this morning. I am starting my course at open university on the 27th September.
this morning i have my last appointment with the psychologist. Then i have to take my son to his appointment at the hospital with the pediatrician. Then a food shop.
My mum is taking us cos still no car. I dont want to think about that though today
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Indeed. My dad is really kind and lets me stay in a granny flat on his property really cheap too.
Oh, awesome! good luck with getting it extended
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