I am seeing something abnormal on my body (health related) and my brain is telling me that: “You have a terminal illness, you don’t have long to live and death will be very scary and painful…”
So then I get to thinking. Maybe this is the universe getting revenge. I have had suicidal thoughts in my past, so now to get even the universe is going to end my life young. I’m very afraid right now. I hate my brain I hate my death I hate it
I sometimes think I’m a bit of a hypochondriac. I am wrong so often on what the cause of my issues are. But my symptoms are always real, I just tend to jump to the worst case scenario and then feel silly when it turns out to be false.
Maybe this is all sz related. IDK. I guess, just try not to jump to conclusions. Sometimes our brains see all this symptons and make the wrong connections.
i read a really high number of people with SZ are hypocondriacs
i def have convinced myself im gonna kill over and been wrong
Maybe I am too @Bowens
I don’t know. I think I wouldn’t go in to see a dr at this point either even as a passive way to die. I’m getting so far deep down the rabbit hole obsessive non stop style stuffing deep down southern stuffed pork chops kind of bad thinking about death tonight. I don’t know what is right or wrong anymore. I think I don’t have a moral compass. I lost it at sea. No one really sees me.
Go to a doctor and have it checked out, then you’ll know if you really have something to worry about. But sitting around ruminating over whatever it is and jumping to a worst case scenario is non-productive and useless. I don’t know what you consider the universe to actually be, but your illness or condition is not some big cosmic plot to end your life. The universe just is. It’s not seeking revenge or retribution from you. Go to a doctor like anyone else and get your condition checked out.
Really? Should I go now to an emergency clinic @77nick77 ?
I really just want to passively die. What if I don’t know right from wrong anymore??
What exactly is your health problem? I don’t know what it is or how you’re feeling other then you’re very worried about it. Is it some kind of growth or something?
I have to socialize tomorrow and be in tip top condition. I hope I can manage more than just going along with the crowd? What if that’s all I ever do? Do I do that? What if that is all I e ver fo? Yikes
I so incredibly wish I wasn’t so iron jawed in my head ffs
Well, you may be able to work on that but you’re not going to change your whole character or your method of coping overnight. I don’t know how you relate to other people.
I can’t stand this I better run try for rest
Yeah, a good nights sleep can work wonders.
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