I noticed that the key difference for me when I am psychotic is that usually new ideas come to me as “It could not not be this” while when I am psychotic they come to me as “It could be this”. Same for when I explore old concepts.
Clearly I’m talking about how they come to me at the emotional level, I don’t actually use double negation in speech except very rarely.
When I become psychotic the positive symptoms for me start before this subtle shift happens and until that shift happens I can generally handle them if I get enough sleep until they subside. Once the shift happens things start to go downhill from there, either quickly if I go manic or slowly if the detachment from reality happens gradually. I wonder if any of you has found something similar or dissimilar in their experience.
My psychiatrist once told me that there are schizophrenics who can know and detect when they are going to have a psychotic break and there are others who do not know. What you say they call “suspicious thoughts”
I feel I’ve got that ability these days. Considering my last few episodes i was able to have the insight that i was slipping and get help early. Doing this shortens the recovery period for me too. The sooner i get help i mean.
But yeah if it goes too long then i dont question my delusional thoughts at all. Kinda scary. It seems some random outlandish idea will pop into my insane mind and i will completely beleive it without qustion. Even if im presented with evidence of its absurdity by someone else.
I learned that if I can’t backtrack my thoughts over several hours something is wrong. Usually I can ask myself “why am I thinking this?” And connect it to something else I recently thought, or connect it to my memory. But if it’s just random thoughts that makes no sense, it’s a bad sign.
A tell tale sign for me other than noticing how psychotic I feel is the air starts to smell burnt. If I miss a dose of meds that’s one of my first signs. I walk outside and there’s a burnt smell. My last major psychotic break happened fast. I was sitting on my couch noticing the cars outside were affecting me in a certain way and I told myself my meds weren’t working. Spent a long time psychotic during that break.