Poetry: About my current status

As time passes I remember when things were unstill.

I give into it, not willingly and without passion.

My breath no longer has the taste of it.

Things creep up over me, and I let them.

What am I to do until then?

When will it be what I want?

Will it ever?

I don’t know, but someday will.

It’s not a delusion, but sometimes I wish it were.

To be meaningless in the scheme.

I still feel it deeply though.

Until the pills take it away from me.

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