In a book in my native language they describe schizophrenia as “During the calm phases the person is characterised by […] passivity and inability to experience lust and joy.”
I can recognise this — my main problem being passivity. Now, I don’t know if I’m simply just tired or if it’s some kind of pathological source. I can do routines and obligations, but to eagerly want to do something, I simply don’t. I lack a belief in that things will work out and/or some kind of secure base to be active from.
Also, I’m strongly tired mentally. Reading physical books is very down-stressing, I can feel the relief in the brain. I think I’ve taken a lot of ■■■■ in my life and some of these things remind of PTSD. It’s said schizos are poor at stress. But I don’t respond with critical states on high stress but instead rather well, but perhaps I’m poor at thoroughly winding down afterwards. If I’m not occupied with something I check my phone with minutes in interval.
Or it’s burnout. I feel maybe ten minutes of joy in the morning, and then I’m tired and depleted as usual. With this rate of recovery I’ll be at normal levels at age 75. Plenty of people are joyfully active, I don’t think this is too ambitious.
For instance, today after plenty of non-activity during Christmas holidays, I’m exhausted and depleted after half a day’s work. It’s not sustainable.
Feel free to chime in with your experiences and knowledge.
Yeah, but can’t tick the boxes. None of them, the remotely closest being “losing interest and motivation in life and activities”. I sometimes have the interest, I just can’t execute. I don’t want the state, at least.
Hence, there’s very little schizo over me in this aspect. It’s to a much higher degree better explained by burnout combined with some existential perspective of not figuring out how to do things.
I feel no positivity or enthusiasm, instead a strong headache. Maybe a joke here and there or being with a girl, or the absolute pathetic activity of acquiring things.
I don’t think it’s schizo, it’s me realizing I’m absolutely lousy, consistent over decades, consistently failing at my projects. There are some positive aspects, such as that I have worked out satisfactory and some aspects of me, but it is effectively ignorable and insufficient.