If you have succeeded in anything do you ever feel like your life is impossible? I feel like I should have nothing. Yet I’ve worked for almost thirty years. I don’t know I did it sometimes. Or how I accomplished anything. When I look back it seems like I’ve been on the edge for 34 years. Just one step away from failure. What I’ve accomplished is impossible. Anyone relate?
Like the 12 step program says…you are “one of the miracles” to me nick77. You work, you are clean and sober, you are smart and life does beat the hell out of us but you keep on tickin’…I think you’re so great ! My life seems just as impossible to me but I still have my vices that keep me poor. I would love to go all the time “for a coke” at McDonalds like you go do all the time.
As far as the impossibility of life…I try not to “look down” from the journey I have been on so I don’t get overwhelmed. All we have is today, right? @77nick77
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I can dig it. When my job was very part time, I was in my deepest and darkest mind set. My sis coaxed me out of bed almost two hours before I had to go to work and it was a slow going chore to get me dressed and fed before my Mom picked me up and drove me to work… so early in the morning.
Once there I could sort of keep up and do the job and work my 4.5 hours. Then my Dad would pick me up when I was done and bring me home where I would immediately go back to bed and stay there until the next day. I have no idea how I kept that job with the state I was in.
To me, that is a huge success. I’ve been in some bad places in my mind, yet still somehow made it through my shift. Still amazed I managed to do that. So glad I did because it paid off and I was able to get this job.
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Thanks jukebox. That means a lot to me, especially coming from you. Yes, we just have today and we’re all doing the best we can on here in our own way.
Like I said before Surprised, you have an amazing story. It’s a huge sucess that you have held this job for so long and you deserve much recognition for it. My family has always helped me too.
I work and I take classes at a local college. It feels unreal sometimes. I look at my past, my psychiatric history, and I see where I am right now, and I can’t believe I turned myself around. I see too many people in the system that just aren’t as fortunate as I am, and it’s a shame. My life would have been impossible if not for my parents and my boyfriend. My parents provide me financial support. My boyfriend brings me emotional support and love and care, something that I hope I give him in return (as he too is schizophrenic). These are all things that I think are critical to recovery.
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