On your first breakdown.......?

DX'd - Sz/SzA
1

On your first breakdown did also break your heart?

It broke my heart big time

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2

No, it just broke my mind.

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3

OK

My whole life was shattered heart mind and soul

In my first snap

The year was 2000

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4

Don’t think so. Substance abuse issues, blackout drinking, etc. Not a time in my life I have clear recollections of.

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Me 2

My psychosis was ‘‘mostly’’ self-inflicted

I can accept this now

I am free now though

6

First and last attempt to injur self.
I was in delusion that my heart is pure and I can’t live in this world.
So I was about to pierce It with pencil.
Suddenly I heard a voice I dont have the nerve.
I threw it away and my books. Went to sleep.

Just recollected this since you spoke of heart.

7

Synchronicity or things falling in place was, it was world heart day the next morning.
And in the first page of news paper had all hearts decorations and other thing, it was my parents anniversary too.
May be the TV influenced me with respect to heart. Who knows.
Luckily I am out of it now.

8

A very powerful question. Yes and it has shattered ever since.

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@I_am_not_here

I believe I have a hole in my soul from it

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10

I sympathise with that feeling. There has been a consistent pain my heart since I was diagnosed in 2017,I was always told by doctors was unique. I would read the experiences that others were going through on this forum, and at times felt I could not relate, so I believed them and thought I was in fact unique. But then I had my first full episode in 2019 and have not been the same. My heart was broken before but was shattered ever since.

11

I ache all the time.

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We are all our best doctors in fairness

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I agree. Fortunately I had a great team until recently so have helped me a lot. I will soon start therapy again to help me heal. So I am sorry you feel this way, it is something most people seem unable to empathise

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I have thought about your post ever since I first read it. It sounds familiar to one I wrote a few years ago. In any case, if you ever want to talk, just let me know

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15

My mindset is different since them times

I healed a lot

I still need meds though IMO

Thanks for your kind hearted post

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Mostly, I was amused in the beginning and didn’t seek help for years. But auditory hallucinations seemed to get worse after diagnosis.

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