I once had the delusion that I was going to get married and have children with the man I loved more then life until he died two months ago! I can’t get over it! I dream every night that he’s here and I can save him, but even in my dreams he still dies because I can’t get to him soon enough.
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Thankyou. I’ve been battling against this for the past couple of days. Today I heard something click in my ear. I’m trying to see did they stick it all the way down to my ear drum.
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Was he real? Or was he imaginary?
That clicking noise could have been a hallucination. I rarely get auditory hallucinations, but when i do get them -they are very sneaky and clever. Plays into whatever my current delusion is. Also the body makes noises and has sensations all the time.
Im sorry you’re suffering with trying to figure this thing out. I dont know if this is any help, but try to think about the broader picture. Why are they spying on you? If they are, why do you care? The movie about edward snowden proves that the CIA can watch anyone on any device at any time. I dont bring this up to trigger you or anyone else reading this. I mention it to point out: why would they suddenly put something in your ear, when they already have the option of listening to you on a computer or phone?
(Again not trying to trigger anyone, but this is a reality of the world. Just remember, even though they can listen in, why would they??)
Lol! He was real! 4 years together. He overdosed and had a heart attack during the process. He had some mental issues that got worse with drugs. He was the owner and chef at a restaurant that was number 1 on TripAdvisor and yelp! Very talented, but the stress and long hours striving to stay at the top caused him to abuse drugs to stay awake. He never slept.
Have you asked yourself why you want to believe this is real? I think a major part of you knows it’s not possible or real, but another part of you really wants to believe these delusions. I’m sure you’ve read that this is a common delusion among people with schizophrenia. I read a story about someone that believed this to their core and the doctor thought maybe by getting an X-ray it would stop the paranoia. Of course there was nothing there, but the person went on to say that the doctor removed it before the X-ray somehow and then planted several new ones even though he was awake and coherent the whole time. His family had to pay out of pocket because insurance wouldn’t approve such an unnecessary medical procedure
I think they wanted to listen to my thoughts to see what I thought about them. And at one point I stayed away from the family for like 2 years(I now found out that’s the beginning stage of schizophrenia)so I think they wanted to pick my brain to see why. I don’t like being on camera because I don’t want to think anything negative about someone and they get offended and want to hurt me. I don’t mean to think anything negative but you know everyone has an opinion.
I am so sorry to hear that. My condolences to you. As far as my situation the only reason I believe this is because I hear everyone talking about me saying how I’m being talked about on tv and that the world is going to get me. And that I’m going to die. I also hear the tv talking about me. And I dread going to the grocery store tomorrow because everyone talks about me. I hear it out of their mouths, that is why I believe this “delusion” smh
I wish I could take you to the grocery store myself. You don’t need to be afraid! I really wish you didn’t have these delusions! I would feel a lot better for you if you just could accept that it’s not happening, but telling someone with this disease that things are just in their head seems to always go nowhere!
I have an idea, why don’t you google people with schizophrenia who believe they are being watched. This search has a lot of stories pertaining to this symptom and maybe some of the articles can explain it to you better then we can.
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And thanks, I miss him so much! The only man that really truly loved me until the mental illness and drugs took over his mind and personality, but I stood by him! I helped him several times go cold turkey off of drugs. If you’ve ever experienced it, it isn’t fun!
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I understand what you mean. I have random thoughts that may offend too. But your thoughts are not you. They dont define you in the slightest. I know it still may be uncomfortable thinking you are being monitored. Especially something as secret as thoughts. Doesnt sound fun. Can you seek professional help to see about a medication change?
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I know, when I have the… I’m being videoed and recorded and watched that I used to not have a clue that I was delusional.
I have some insight, now. At some point during the paranoia or delusions, I stop. I ask myself why would someone think I’m that important?
No one would.
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The funny thing is my mom has schizophrenia and she talks to herself all day. She talks to people that are not there and she lashed out to her voices. She’s unmedicated and had this since she was like 28. And on my fathers side my cousin has it as well so… yea… lol
I have to wait 2 weeks. It’s just all so scary!
You are right, I’m not that important. I’m really not.
It’s ok, none of us are that important to be watched! But, there’s no way even if you were important to be watched (such as big time drug dealer or something similar) nothing can read anyone’s thoughts. I always wished there was a device to record my dreams because I forget them and some of them are really cool, but sadly this technology doesn’t exist!
I meant that you’re not a celebrity or famous. Not being important sounds bad. Of course, you matter.
Yes that’s what I mean as well! Trust me, nobody wants to hear my thoughts! They’d be bored out of their mind! 
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