New Book: Speaking to My Madness: How I Searched for Myself in Schizophrenia

New book website is here:

Facebook page here:

NAMI interview with the author here:

A recent review:

"She describes in the book her battles with three demons: alcohol, schizophrenia and cancer. Her triumph over all three is truly remarkable. Her descriptions of her descent into hitting bottom with alcohol and with schizophrenia are beautiful and terrifying at the same time, and are not to be missed.

In summary, I couldn’t put this book down. If you enjoy good writing, you will enjoy this book. For anyone interested in substance abuse, psychology and cancer survival, this book is a must read.


This fascinating book encompasses Stanford, Harvard, Mensa, Italy, New Orleans, a ranch in Colorado, and Buenos Aires.

Speaking to My Madness: How I Searched for Myself in Schizophrenia is a memoir of distinctly literary quality. It retraces a journey through alcoholism and schizophrenia, as it looks back – by turns raw and poignantly lyrical – in the quest for deeper understanding and redemption.

While Roberta Payne struggled to overcome these difficult illnesses, she sustained a peripatetic career teaching college English, Latin, and Italian. Intensely lived episodes give the work drama and color – the suicide of a dear friend in a mental hospital in which the author is being treated, the workings of a hurricane, views inside a drug house, the author’s reunion with a sister after 45 years.

She has balanced those moments with ones of equally intense introspection – the ways of thinking and the feelings of severe illness, especially psychosis. There are a renowned psychiatrist, unforgettable friends, and a life-long love. Eventually, her struggles with cancer bring focus and healing to her life.


I hope one day I can publish my journal entries. This book sounds so interesting. The self is the most interesting part to a human being I find.


Yes, I find too that here a half could write the book or at least an autobiographical sketch which could be demanded by publishers.
Why we on such books still look as at unique? Though to the author, of course, respect.

Almost all of my journal entries are about troubles I go through everyday and talking myself through them. And the other entries are about the methods I use to talk myself through problems. I never settle for less then what I expected and I think that’s a reoccurring theme in my life.

The Center Cannot Hold by Elyn Saks is excellent as well. I will have to order this one