Do you like time travel? It’s the holy grail of physics. It ties into a lot of things including spirituality. Ever hear of Ong’s Hat? Might need to get some ideas or references some day from you.
I’ve been interested in time travel ever since I first started reading Doctor Who books as a child. I have experienced it in bouts of psychosis, both relativistic time lines traveling at different speeds, and jumbled time lines, in which the order of events were jumbled. I’ve never experienced going back in time, except if you count deja vu. I looked up Ong’s hat, it sounds interesting 
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So been a bit lapse in my study program the last few days, largely due to dysfunctional sleep patterns. Today I only really did my t’ai ji and read a little. I’ve finished the physics book I was reading which is great. I want to start reading a health economics text book. I started it before, but couldn’t keep it up as it got too technical. I’m going to start from the beginning again and try and read it again. There is a possibility if I can stay sane for long enough that I could get funding to do a masters in health economics. I’d like that very much, but so far I’ve never managed to stay sane long enough for the idea to be viable. Sanity is my top priority. I also want to finish the first chapter of my complex analysis notes, I only have one more section to do, and go back to analysing the diseases of the heart each day. I might try and finish the complex analysis note this evening. There is still time. Thank you.
So still a bit lapse in my study program. Today I some t’ai ji and some reading, including reading my health economics text book. I really want to do the masters in health economics if I can get funding. However the real obstacle is my mental health. I could have started it already if I had been well. I made a huge effort to stay sane last year and lasted six months, a record. I have been very susceptible to political and societal changes in the past, and in my madness I have thought that I am responsible for them. Brexit and the general election upset my mental state last year, and COVID upset it at the beginning of this year. I don’t know what’s on the agenda for the coming year. I won’t be able to apply for the masters until next year and I will have to stay sane all that time. The good thing is this gives me time to prepare for the course. If I can learn the material in my own time beforehand, then it won’t matter so much if I relapse. There are four hundred pages in the core text. If I read five pages a day I should be able to read it four times over in the coming year. I need to prioritise this. Thank you.
So today I managed to do some t’ai ji and reading of my health economics core text. I also managed to write some things, some of which I might be able to publish. I’m quite happy with how the days gone. As long as I do something each day I’m happy. Thank you.
Do you have a BA degree in econ? Is there math invovled in health economics?
Complex analysis is hard. Im assuming you took real analysis first? Were you a math major? I liked economics at one time.
I have to say @Gagis, your recent posts over the past month or two are so much more clear and focused. Did you have a med change? I’m really impressed with your progress.
Thanks @anon4362788, but this has been the pattern for years, I have a month or so of total sanity but negative symptoms which impact my productivity, though not ambition, and then a month or so of total psychotic mania. My mother says the oscillations are getting better over the years, but when I relapse it is still highly problematic 
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Well, hopefully this high functioning spell lasts for you. Good luck!
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Thanks @anon4362788, today I did my t’ai ji, read my health economics core text, and did some background reading on TCM theory on the internet.
Good for you! Im glad things are going well. I struggled with engineering economics, so hats off to you for understanding that stuff
Thanks zwolfgang, there are so many things I want to learn, at the moment I am struggling just to do my five pages of health economics reading and t’ai ji chuan practice each day. I know that if I add more, I will burn out. Thank you.
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So yesterday I read a some pages from a couple of other books on top of my health economics text and doing my t’ai ji chuan. But such extra study cannot be everyday for me at the moment. My priority is my five goals for the year of which two are study, health economics and t’ai ji. This is a doable target. Yes I’d like to be learning languages as well. Yes I’d like to be mastering my maths undergraduate as well. Yes I’d like to be learning TCM theory as well. Yes I’d like to be studying spiritual development as well. But I simply cannot sustain concentration enough to do even one of these extra things. In truth, I don’t know where the time goes. Fifteen minutes extra on each of these extra things would only amount to an hour a day. It seems so pathetic that I can’t do them, but I have to be realistic. Every time I try and do more than half an hour’s study a day I burn out. I am happy, if a little frustrated, but happiness is the main thing. Thank you.
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So after the tedious “can do” posts, I’m going to return to my study program. I want to read some more of my health economics text and also the chapter that I missed of my shorter health economics introduction. I also want to do my t’ai ji and hopefully get up to move sixty by the end of the week. Thank you.
So I spent all day on the internet today, didn’t learn anything knew. Thinking of making an extra effort tomorrow to read my books and do physical meditation, that is, if I can get some sleep
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