My secret never told

The stupid thing is
I didn’t go in for respite
I needed to talk
To tell someone the truth
To finally be free of the secret
That sat inside Like a weight
To heavy for my weak mind
To carry any longer.
So I got no relief
I wasn’t freed
I didn’t form the words
That would’ve soothed my mind.
Instead I sat
And paced
And wondered
When is my turn.
I was the model patient
Quiet and compliant
Just like they hoped for.
And I felt nothing
And I felt anger
And I felt alone
Stuck in the same place
As day one
Maybe a little worse.
So here I am at home
Feeling a small sense of relief
And a large disappointment.
The secret lives that live inside
Are pleased my mouth was silent
And I feel like soon
The me you know
Will have disappeared.