Medication Journey

I am now starting week 6 of being on Zoloft and Ativan. Starting week 2 of Abilify. Already meds are making a huge difference in my life in relation to my depression and anxiety. I have not had flashbacks or anxiety at night since starting Ativan. It helped me to sleep entirely or almost entirely through the night and not wake up at every little thing, and it also helped me fall asleep easily.

The Zoloft took a little while, and I noticed it working on my anxiety before my depression. I am noticeably less irritable during the day. Before it was like anything and everything could set me off, like my nerves were raw and made me aggressive towards every little thing. Fight or flight mode on 24/7 I guess. Now I am much calmer. I have not dissociated in weeks.

As for depression, recently I have realized I am no longer spending an hour or more a day fantasizing about death. I am having significantly less violent thoughts towards myself.

The only issue is towards the end of the day I swear the Zoloft wears off and my irritability and anxiety come back to the point where it’s almost unbearable now just because I can’t tolerate what I used to all the time. I’m fine once I take my night time meds but there’s a time period in between there. So my pdoc is having me take Ativan then instead of at bedtime, since we’re experimenting if the Abilify is enough to keep the flashbacks/night anxiety away.

So far, the Abilify is working though this is my first official night with no Ativan, since I already took it in the afternoon and it’s worn off by now. Anyways it makes me very sleepy and calm at night. I also noticed that ever since starting it I’ve been waking up actually feeling well-rested for once, though that could also be the Zoloft relieving a depression symptom. Anyways I’ve also had vivid and exciting lucid dreams while on it. Occasional bouts of nausea and dizziness but nothing so common or extreme I’d quit.

Next week if all goes well with not taking Ativan at night, we might begin to look at getting me off it and reducing my dose slowly if necessary (I’m at 1 g a day now). My Abilify dosage is going to go to 4 mg, but if I’m still experiencing the nausea and dizziness by that point I would rather wait to go up…I also assume I’m going to go from 75 mg Zoloft to 100, but we didn’t talk about that so I don’t know for sure.

Anyways that’s my status report. My quality of life is changing drastically. I have a lot of hope for myself. I left my last therapy session feeling really good about all the progress I’ve made and how far I’ve come. Hope everyone else is doing well too!


Well done @Anna , looks like things are turning around for you.

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