I'm unraveling

Today I caught myself googling the lethal dose of my meds. It was almost a compulsion :confused:

Stay alive! If not for yourself then for me and others. Your alive which is a gift, your meant to be here, to help me, to help others. You’ve stopped me from doing terrible things because of that our family is still together. You are meant to be my freind

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@anon47167357 I appreciate it, and I appreciate you.

I really wanna call the Norwegian helpline again, they were so helpful yesterday. But I don’t have time, I can’t justify it.
I need to finish my assignment, and I’m several hours behind. I’m pulling an all-nighter as it os, and I only got like 4hrs last night.
Work on the assignment is going too slow, because I keep hitting the wrong keys and I think my brain is lagging.

I’m so frustrated.

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I dont want this. I cant do this.
I dont want this life

Maybe you need to call the helpline again Miika? I’m here if you want to chat about anything though.

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Thank you. I’m at work, so I can’t call them now.
Most likely can’t until the guy I live with falls asleep. I’m hoping he lets me go to bed early today and doesn’t push me to keep working instead of sleeping.

It’s my own fault. I took on too many assignments, and I’m pretending everything is fine.
For some reason I act extra cheerful and friendly when I’m screaming inside

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Well, that’s probably good for your work anyway.
I hope you are able to get some sleep soon. I’ve found that sleeping is often a good “reset button” on things. Hopefully you will feel better after a good rest.

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Hey take one step at a time.

I presume you are doing your job because it’s a worth toward your ideal value?

If not then just focus on chipping away on personal missions, on the things that you would thank yourself later for. It accumulates by compounded interests and rewards before you know it.

Don’t plan too far away, work on proximal goals and keep an eye on the distal hope :blush:

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How much niacin do you use and what type?

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