Schizophrenia.com

I'm back among the living


#1

When I was at my worst I was really hard on two of my brothers. Jacob is one year younger then me and we never really got along. Jack is almost three years younger then me and he and I had some serious on again off again moments complete with physical fights.

Ages ago, in order to get over his own pain and anger about my mistreatment toward him, and my people using… he sort of buried me. Well, actually he cremated me and kept an urn on his mantle. To him I was dead and couldn’t hurt him anymore.

For him, there was no longer an older brother named James. It was how he got out of the negative cycle and began to heal. For years he had very little to do with me. I was now just a distant friend of the family’s who just happened to look like his brother. I hated that… but there was nothing I could do but apologize.

But four years ago, for the sake of our sister, he’s been around more and we’ve been slowly talking more. This last two years we’ve been getting along pretty well. Last few months, he’s come over just to say hi and have lunch and he’s introduced me as his brother again. I’ve had a chance to see my nieces and nephews. He just dropped by and gave me the urn. He doesn’t see me as dead anymore. It’s too odd now to have the urn and explain it to his kid as well.
I’m back among the living.


#2

That is awesome! You deserve it.


#3

I’m glad he’s forgiven you :slight_smile: Barbie’s right you do deserve it.


#4

Thank you for that… It is sort of hitting me how big this is. He just sort of shoved this urn in my arms, said his little… “We’ve all changed and this doesn’t work for me anymore. How about coffee after the morning swim… I’m glad your not dead… gotta go.”

It was fast, but it is hitting me that I think I’m sort of forgiven. It’s odd to think this. But that just might be the case.


#5

So I guess you "Urn"ed your keep.


#6

welcome back to the living, i thought there was something spooky about you …
on a serious note i am really happy for you and your brother.
on a spooky note…you are now immortal…like Zeus !
take care


#7

That’s a heart warming account and very hopeful to the rest of us.


#8

You are very fortunate that you are forgiven. …my brother hasn’t spoken to me or acknowledged me for twenty years …even when they all thought I was on my deathbed…nothing. not a word from him. I treated him badly when we were young and he refuses to forgive me despite letters asking for hum to forgive me. I apologized many times but to no avail it hurts a lot to know that to him I am already dead.


#9

I don’t think Jack and I would ever have a chance at making peace again if it weren’t for our kid sister.

His dislike for me at the time was sort of outweighed by his guilt for ignoring her and treating her how I treated him. Maybe if he was going to forgive himself for some of his past actions… he had to forgive me for those same actions.

I’m sorry your brother is still ignoring you. Does he live in your town? If he’s far away, that makes it harder.


#10

yes …I live in PA and he lives down South. He’s been up a couple of times to visit my parents but never calls or comes to see me.


#11

Sorry you don’t get along with your brother Locamotion. It’s good to get along with family. We can use any ally we can get.