Hey, so recent events have occurred in my life so that I feel it best to step down as mod and anonymize my account. I’m not sure when it’s happening logistically. I’ll be on until my powers are removed.
I try not to complain honestly, but my physical issues are growing. My congestive heart failure is progressing, my esophogus and stomach no longer functions correctly, I’m a severe diabetic and got severe covid several times and I’m losing function in my whole digestive system. They said my body is attacking it self in multiple ways. Many are auto immune issues exacerbated by covid. I’ve already lost several organs. They did biopsies of my stomach several times recently. Several tissues are now malignant, so they are deciding what to do. I can barely eat or drink even. I’ve lost 43 lbs in the last two months. I’ve had two surgeries that have been unsuccessful.
The problem is that the esophogeal hole leading to the stomach does not open. Everything sits in my esophogus and absorbs through that. The problem is that I’m not absorbing my daily meds or food well. I’m malnourished and my pills I need for thyroid, pancreas, psych, etc are not effective due to not absorbing in my stomach.
All the doctors are saying I’m not going to last much long. One doctor said they were surprised I’ve lived this long. In this last year I spent a total of 323 days in a hospital. And yes, I was moderating during those times. So I’m refusing any further difficult treatments. I’m not opting for chemo, heart surgeries, etc. I’m going to enjoy life for as long as possible. What matters to me is my children. I’m giving them the best lives with me and they got to spend every moment they want with me. So I’m just going to end my time on this forum and focus solely on my family. My eldest is in high school, and the others follow suit soon. My youngest is nine.
And yeah, all this has caused marital issues, to where we are considering separation. It hurts as it was our 15 wedding anniversary on the 9th. But we are going to counseling and I’m going to therapy to work on it all.
Anyway, that’s my life in a nutshell.
I’ve gotta say, I really enjoyed my time here. It’s been some messed up fun, too. 
I won’t forget you. Some of you have imprinted into my memories. I could say something lovely about each one of you, but I’d probably crash the forum. 
So I’ll just say, remember to be healthy in every way, don’t give up on yourselves, and always be proud of your courage in adversity. Living with mental illness demands courage and determination. And you have that in spades.
Finally, keep your mind happy, your thoughts happy, and keep laughing.
Bye guys.
