I think about mortality a lot and I honest to God think I’m going to kill myself one day. I don’t really know if it will be soon. I don’t have even the slightest idea of when it will happen, but I do know in my heart that it’s how I’ll go. I’ve accepted it. I get so incredibly depressed. When I’m in that state I’m constantly thinking about how easy it’d be. But something always stops me before I make that decision. I feel like one day that something won’t be there anymore. With how often I’m deeply depressed, the odds just aren’t in my favor. It’s a cancer.
Anyways, not looking for responses but feel free to respond if you’d like. Just had to put this somewhere before I have another existential crisis.
I should also mention that I do not currently have a plan or the means to take my life.
She knows about the depression and passing suicidal thoughts. I haven’t told her that I know I’ll take my life eventually. I’m afraid she’ll put me in the hospital if I tell her, even if I don’t mean immediately. Lose lose situation.
I’m aware of this probability. I lived it. I’ve done permanent damage to my liver with Tylenol… That didn’t feel too good and I’m obviously still here. Sorry to be morbid, but that was a learning experience for me.
I don’t take them consistently. I take them for a stretch then decide that I won’t take them for whatever messed up reason, And I quit cold turkey. Then I actually try to kill myself. Every. Time.
I am better equipped to prevent suicide without meds. That means that I feel suicidal more often. But I’d rather live as long as I’m supposed to feeling suicidal, than to not feel suicidal and actually do it.
I think about it too but I realized the soul is eternal and you will be in pain after you leave your earthly form. Read Dante’s Inferno. People who commit suicide are in eternal agony. I don’t have a religion but the CREATOR JEDI FORCE that created YOU DID SO FOR A PURPOSE. YOU ARE A SPIRIT INSIDE A BODY
I LOVE YOU
OK? IS THAT ALRIGHT?
I’m thinking the same, if I don’t find a medication that can stabilize me. Depakote has stopped my mood swings but I’m now just permanently depressed it seems.
My parents don’t seem to understand the seriousness of the situation and just keep saying they don’t like medication and I should live healthier.
Dante’s inferno was fiction written by some random dude I don’t understand why people take it as a literal description of real actual hell Did you know the Bible doesn’t mention hell once aside from Jesus using it as a metaphor & not saying it’s an actual place? I made a post about it on here a while ago I think.
Hell was a concept created by christians during times of heavy persecution to make them feel better by thinking that their persecutors would be punished eternally. And then it just became a staple of Christianity.
srry cat…I didn’t read the rest, just saw your original. its not as bad as it seems…im no one to say myself. im srry if your feeling bad. You know there is another that feels the same as you. what do you "consider “existence”? it shouldn’t take a choice to make you realize that you’ve made it itself. your greater than that. you are a part of something greater…(I can go on and on with religion but we wont) just realize that things go beyond yourself…you can manifest thing in a way (if it comes from your heart)
Did you know the Bible doesn’t mention hell once aside from Jesus using it as a metaphor & not saying it’s an actual place? I made a post about it on here a while ago I think.