I used to have personal conversations with the front desk associates, assistant manager and manager. They were talking to me. The manager had extreme body language when I talked to her two weeks ago - like you’re crazy, get away from me. I was talking about the weather for an outdoor concert that night and how where I live is still country-looking to a degree.
Ever since then, the assistant manager and a front desk associate has shut me down….and I have been saying hardly anything personal unless asked. So, I’m thinking the manager had this discussion with the assistant manager and front desk associates? Yet, they talk to each other and others.
I’m wondering why the change and what I did wrong? I never talked to them daily to begin with. I’m feeling embarrassed and paranoid. I feel rejected and humiliated too.
Any feedback? Thanks.
Given that you haven’t broached the subject with any of them yet, you can’t determine if it’s in your head or not. You should confirm that something happened by asking questions. Anyway, I hope it gets better for you
Unfortunately I’m in the same boat looking at how work FELT and why I’m having so much trouble getting back into the workforce.
Feedback is precious to me too and perhaps too rare.
If it helps you’re very coherent here and you’re not alone.
Thanks for answering @FreeLunch.
Actually, I did talk to the assistant manager about this on Monday. She said they like talking to me and the clients like talking to me too. She denied it, yet at the same time, she cut me off when I said, I can stop talking about personal things, “on Wednesday “I’ll be married 20 years and things are well with me. I don’t need to discuss anything personal.” The Assistant manager says good, cuts me off, and goes back to saying, “we love you and like talking to you, so do the clients up front.”
So, I’m guessing I have to take the non-verbal cues. This has happened once each with three different people since August 30, starting with the manager.
It’s sort of abusive to have to exist in the context of non-verbal cues. I’m sorry to hear that
Thanks. I feel like I’m walking on eggshells. I don’t think my manager is really nice , although I think she tries to be. She’s judgemental and uptight. She’s only been here since April. I did not feel like I was walking on eggshells until recently and I’ve been here 15 months.
I’m wondering if I should leave. My Dad, sister and husband think I should stay.
My dad thinks people are more intense where I live and my sister’s experience living near me was people think they’re better than you. It’s hard for me and my husband doesn’t want to move. This office is in the area of where I live.
I started having audio hallucinations dealing with some hard to deal with people near me years ago. I wonder if that helped my schizophrenia to develop. I mean I was already mentally ill, but I wasn’t a schizophrenic.
Btw, I know a lot of people who you have to take their nonverbal cues. They don’t want to say something to you, but they may say something behind your back.
I was just thinking maybe I’m not always good at small talk and that’s the problem - in a nutshell.
personally I always misread ppl’s thoughts or intentions and always think someone is really mad at me, when they aren’t…it might be in your head.
Thanks @jukebox. My husband thinks it’s worse in my head than it really is. He’s not negating that it’s happening though.
I think I should only talk about work things with most people at work since I’m not always good at small talk. Hopefully that will be ok with the general manager. She didn’t like my polite professionalism last night. I described everything that was said to my husband and that she looked liked she didn’t like what I said. He said it’s her problem.
I’m also not good at reading social situations/vibes…
Not sure what advice to give honestly… but you’re not alone!
I am horrible with small talk as well.
Hope things at your work place get better for you
Thanks @Human. Hopefully being “only professional” will work. I was okay under the other managers, but not this one.