I don’t want to live any more.
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you are a good person, you have a lot to give x
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Hi @Erez_Shmerling … do you like a challenge ???
Download “Living for the City” Ringtone
“Surrounded by four walls that ain’t so pretty
His parents give him love and affection
To keep him strong moving in the right direction
Living just enough, just enough for the city”
Because that’s what I feel we have to face. If we work for it though , it’s possible to overcome … 
and because we experienced the downs we can appreciate the ups so much more
have you traveleld to Germany yet? If you havent you should. There are so many things you should see befroe you die If you ever want to see Germany then come to Hamburg and I will show you Hamburg and Northern Germany. There is a very interesting site in Northern Germany where the Germans in WWII conducted research for rockets and missiles. This site tody is a museum and you see an exihbit there thats really interesting. By the way Jewish prisoners were forced to help construct the site when it was build. Today there is also a big exhibit of old WWII airplanes and stuff on this site. Its quite amazing site. I once when there with a company I worked for as a end of year field trip. This is when I worked at a research center for mechanical engineering research. Erez keep up your spirit, think of all the things you have yet in front of you…things that are worthwhile to see and do…you are young, I promise that everything wil get better…its going to be good…seriously.
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I’m sorry you feel that way @Erez_Shmerling life can seem pointless and cruel but I believe if you try to stay positive and think of nice things that happen in life every day you might change the way you see your life…you are important and loved I am sure…can you talk to family or friends right now?
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You are an impostor! This is the real Erez:
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Hang in there @Erez_Shmerling!
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Please wait, time will give to you solutions
Don’t give up yet Erez_Shmerling. You still have to achieve a 3000 rating at chess. Cheer up amigo.
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It’s just too much to deal with. It’s the same everyday and it never gets better. I try and it makes it worse. I’m a tiny boat on a rough ocean, lost to the constant rolling motion, on and on it goes. It’s unbearable. Even when it’s not bad I can’t look forward to it being good. Nothing changes, it’s a horrible cycle.
You’re a smart guy but schizophrenia will get you in the end unless you go on meds. It always does.
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thank you, I had the urge to post something about moving abroad, I believe my illness is flaring up.
I have difficult moments every day.
I certainly have negative thoughts inside my head, but they are illness related.
The people here are great towards me, and even the people in Israel are all right.
I am prepared in the bad case to carry on like now my entire life, I don’t care that my life is difficult.
In the good case perhaps a cure will emerge.
I hope to keep promoting a positive and uplifting vision for humanity,
and promote friendship and good will and civility among people.
The support I get here won’t cure me, but that is what it’s like in our forum,
we treat each other very well and try to uplift each other,
all humankind can learn from this forum.
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Why don’t you share more of what your thinking about ie your negative thoughts. Maybe discussing the issues you’re dealing with will help
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I think this forum has helped reduce my own thoughts of suicide.
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I’ll share something from my CBT book: It’s called A-T-E-B-C analysis…
Activating event
Thoughts
Emotions
Behaviors
Consequences
It’s a cycle that repeats its self
Maybe you should talk to your doctor about stopping the topamax?
I was saying how I thought erez_schmerling was feeling, not me, I’m not depressed today. I’m stable. Thank you though, you seem really, really nice
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@tera , it’s marvelous that you try to look at life from other people’s perspective.
It means you are not overly egotistic and try to think about others and not only about yourself, and view
life from other people’s perspective.
That said, I think your description is a bit too gloomy and can cause people negative thoughts and emotions,
because when people see such a negative thing it can negatively affect them.