The first doc I saw noted that I was high functioning paranoid type sz.
I am not sure if I am still considered high functioning. I hate going outside and being around large crowds of people. But almost everyday I force myself to go outside, the library, the stores.
I suppose I am a moderate in terms of functioning.
Our brains are basically Modular and redundant. Everything is spread out so that if the brain is damaged it can reroute things to a different area that hasnāt been damaged. A Coma is basically Your Brain is Damaged and itās trying to fix itself. Thatās why they are sometimes medically induced. Changes is personality and skill set are normal with brain damage,. Basically the old parts of your brain that made you you are broken beyond repair the new parts you are now probably werenāt used much before thatās why your body rerouted Your consciousness to them.
I would say I am moderately functional.
I work, I live with my partner of 9 years, I shower every day, I can go to the shops, I drive and use public transport, Iām able to socialise at work enough to get me through the day.
Iām terrible at reading books though. And sitting through movies.
Iām fine as long as no calls me, comes to my house, and I donāt have to be around other humans.
As for productivity, Iām lucky if I manage to leave my room, most days.
Iām not understanding the correlation, @HuckFinn. Could you explain?
im sorry, i only got 2 hours sleep when i wrote thisā¦ the corelation i saw was that he doesnt understand others views so he goes along as if he doesā¦ or so it seems to meā¦
a bit different but i was very sleepy. sorry
Iām almost what I was pre sz, but my mind is different in serious ways. Attention span is shorter, I have a harder time orienting myself, and crucially I struggle to participate in conversation (alogia). Without alogia I am totally normal.
I am taking 4 easy online classes at our local community college. I exercise maybe 6/7 days a week. I live with my parents and depend on them for alot. I donāt have any friends outside my family. I have my license but my parents donāt let me drive because Iām not on the insurance (I drove myself places before sz).
Hopefully someone has had the patience to scroll down to this reply. I know its not likely but its nice to think someone has read it. Anyway its just a relief ti get this stuff off my chest.
Oh, youāre right! You got it, and as usual I didnāt understand 
I was upset with this person because I couldnāt see where she was coming from. I still canāt really. But I got that she was offended (when she told me so) Anyway, I did what people do and I apologized. I really would never want to hurt or offend anyone, so even though I didnāt have a clue as to why she was offended, I wanted her to feel better so I apologized.
Then I got home and crashed on the bed and cried for 20 minutes straight because I donāt understand people. I wonder if your brother feels the sting of it ever.
AW. I cry at times because i feel lonely mostly. I wonder thoā¦ I only seen him cry as a kid i think
Itās totally fine being by myself and feeling ok about how Iām functioning, etc., and I donāt even want to be a part of this world, you know? Until Iām hit in the face with the fact that I couldnāt choose to be a part of this world. Iām an alien and I donāt speak the languageā¦ It hurts when it becomes so apparent.
Just reading web material is often to much for me. Thatās why I just installed Zabaware in my new computer so I can just quickly highlight some text, or a whole page, press cntrl-c, and bingo, the text is being read. Seems to take a load off my non-functional back.
I often feel worthless because im alone
Your music is so beautiful, and you always have nice things to say on hereā¦You are so very worthwhile! 
ļø
Ty. I appreciate that
i am functioning well but just cant achive anythihning any purpose
I have been sz for a year and a half. I work an easy security job instead of being an av technician like I used to be. I cry every day from depression and the side effects of my meds. Despite that Iām pretty high functioning. I can appear normal when I need to. Itās just hard to feel like I wonāt be happy again.
Thereās a lot of things I could be doing that I choose not to do because Iām completely shocked that I have a mental disability. Itās been15 years and I still feel like Iām strangling sometimes when I think about my life and all of the embarrassment and humiliation that Iāve had to endure as a result of this illness. I canāt work, that much I know, even though the doctor tells me Iāll be able to work, Iāve cracked under the pressure before. I have to say that a huge part of my disability is due to the medications. The meds suck so badly that thereās not much point in going out of the house. If they had better meds it would be a lot different