ok i am a very niave and gullible person i akm not aware of a lot of social games people play, ive joined a mental health group to meet people with mental illness but last time i did this is went really badly i chose a person who was un trustworthy and was out for what she could get from me. do you guys have any tricks or ideas about when you should trust a person?
That is a hard one for me.
I began to trust my friend who came back into my life because there was a day that I wasn’t doing well… got disoriented and was feeling the wheels come off… The circus music was amping up.
I called him by accident and he came. He didn’t mess with me, he got me home and helped talk me down… Called my sis and let her know what happened… He was calm and cool during one of my crisis times… I figured… if he could drop what he was doing… come find me and get me home safe… I could trust him.
When I was in hospital… I was either so out of my head, or so far in my head… I didn’t really pay attention to many others… When I was out of my head… I scared a lot of people… When I was in my head… I tended to ignore them. I didn’t mess with anyone… so no one messed with me.
I guess my direct advice would be go slow when trusting someone… be open to friendly conversation, but observe before you take someone under your wing. If they seem trust worthy… then you have a good chance of trusting them.
It’s hard because it’s all a gamble. Sometimes you just have to jump in and if you end up with a dud… get rid of them quick and move on. good luck and I hope you can enjoy the new group.
I cannot judge firsthand merely from eyesight, but it does contribute to the overall impression about a person from his grooming and dressing, speech and non-verbal gesture as well as facial expression. Honestly, I must carry on the conversation with him on and off, do any activity together, for at least a couple of months (no earlier than 6 months) to know if he is a trustworthy guy. (I wouldn’t know about the opposite gender, though)
Trusting is a tough one.
I’m by nature a little naïve and trusting myself. But I do have my life experience and my old intuition to go on. What I’ve learned is that even those genuine friends who are worthy of extending my trust to have let me down and disappointed me at some point as have I them.
I guess none of us are perfect friends and whatnot. But I have also run across my fair share of conniving bastards as well. I guess I just naturally tend to be a little more trusting especially as I tend not to be all that judgmental of others. Some will tell you to trust no one as all of us are capable are betraying trust. There’s some truth to this as we are all merely human but I hate to hear people having given up on trust and friendship like that.
I guess if my last true friendship tells me anything about this it’s that trust should be given at first in small doses and that if one proves trustworthy then give a little more trust. This way there’s no big loss if they proved untrustworthy. But no matter how genuine and well meaning the friend I can’t expect anyone to honor my trust in them in any absolute way. I expect fault in others as it is there in all of us. I mean I consider myself a good and loyal friend when I become a friend but I know even I have betrayed the trust of people I love here and there in the past.
I wish I could give you sound advice on how to tell if people are trustworthy or not, but I simply have serious trust issues myself.
I do think that these trust issues have built up over the years by getting burned by different people as well from the schizophrenia that has eroded my confidence in others.
You should still try to be social, and finding a trustworthy friend is not impossible - don’t give up.
I would start small and slowly take bigger steps as you feel yourself around different people