How do i stop basing my self worth on whether or not I have a job?

I do need to be working or I don’t feel very useful to this society. I know this isn’t healthy way of looking at things. If I can’t work it will destroy my confidence. But here’s the thing. I feel I can work , but never works out. But I don’t want to stop trying to make it work.

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Maybe you could do some voluntary work, such as helping the elderly or those with disabilities.

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You shouldn’t care about what society thinks, in the end you may feel like you failed society but truth be told society failed you if society truly wanted you to have a job it would have made it work to the best of your capabilities, every human has intrinsic value no matter what society thinks.

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I’m not sure what kind of help I can offer , interacting with people causes exhaustion. My employment specialist is also pushing me into full time employment. I know where that’s going to go. I’ll end up back to square one.

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Got to distance myself from relatives as soon as I can. Quite frankly its none of their business. Or maybe I judge myself more than the relatives do.

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this is a golden thought. :slight_smile: Literally. Very good thought.
Like, most of the times we are so harsh on ourselves and we do not realise that society is fuc*** by itself.

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I want to work because I’m bored at home. Having something to do weather for little salary is therapeutic and healing

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Perhaps dog walking would suit you. Ive done this in the past and didnt need to interact much with other people. It was giving some exercise to dogs with no home and looking to be adopted. It was for about a 1 hour walk and i went once or twice a week, i found it rewarding.

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Study yourself!

Explore why and how you have to come to feel this way about working.

We are all conditioned. It is just a matter of seeing it in oneself, becoming aware of it and thinking it through.

In this way only you can unpick what has made you feel this way.

If you come to the same conclusion then so be it, but at least you know why!

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Volunteering can help. In some ways our feelings about ourselves are based somewhat on what we do for others. Not absolutely but relative to what we have I guess. When we help other we feel good about ourselves. Even if one doesn’t have money or strength to give they can give in other ways. By small gestures and making an effort to be kind and do what you can. Like baking cookies for someone or something like that is even a good gesture of one can’t work.

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I think you’re surrounded by people who believe that.

My family doesn’t care much if I work or not.

In that way I’m blessed

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I never had a paid job and only did a very little voluntary/unpaid work. I was supposed to go to a place where I’d be assessed re what I could do. My pdoc said I wasn’t well enough. That was back in 1979. I’ve gone through a mix of emotions over the work issue - anger,guilt,self loathing,feeling worthless etc. Irrespective of what a forum is about there will always be one or more threads re the jobs people do. It’s a natural,understandable, topic- but it ramps up negative feelings about myself.

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I can rest after I practice guitar and mandolin. I walk and read. It would sound like I can work but I overdo it and I’m put out for a few weeks. I got the idea my mood is a result of self esteem from someone I once knew who went off medicine. I don’t know if that is true.

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