I don’t think everyone knows, senses or even cares about my SZ. The people who need to care, Care.
But as I’ve been trying to open my eyes to the world around me and not live in my head, I’ve been seeing that everyone walks with their eyes down, everyone tries to be invisible. Everyone seemed surprised if I or anyone else looks him or her in the eye, holds a door open or makes any effort of contact.
My kid sis is a “normie” and it would make me sad if people avoided her due to their perception of normies. They’d be missing out on meeting a pretty kick butt kid. That thought has made me try a little harder not to perceive others by my past experiences. It’s hard, and yes, my fear and my paranoia will kick in, but then I have to step back and look at them and see they are all struggling.
Sometimes I don’t conquer that panic, sometimes I do. I’ll get better, and every positive experience will help my confidence a little more.