to me the world seems a bit unusually hostile to me particularly except here on the forums.
maybe I should keep away from the ‘normies’ since that’s how I feel about them.
is the stigma and prejudice against us that bad that we get ‘attacked’ so to speak, because I sense everyone knows I have sz…
what’s your take on this? anybody else here feel this way? paranoid?
judy
I don’t think everyone knows, senses or even cares about my SZ. The people who need to care, Care.
But as I’ve been trying to open my eyes to the world around me and not live in my head, I’ve been seeing that everyone walks with their eyes down, everyone tries to be invisible. Everyone seemed surprised if I or anyone else looks him or her in the eye, holds a door open or makes any effort of contact.
My kid sis is a “normie” and it would make me sad if people avoided her due to their perception of normies. They’d be missing out on meeting a pretty kick butt kid. That thought has made me try a little harder not to perceive others by my past experiences. It’s hard, and yes, my fear and my paranoia will kick in, but then I have to step back and look at them and see they are all struggling.
Sometimes I don’t conquer that panic, sometimes I do. I’ll get better, and every positive experience will help my confidence a little more.
i just am wondering how much is my paranoia and how much is reality re this feeling that I am picked on for pot shots of hostilities.
I am also just wondering why. like is it stigma and prejudice or is it something else?
truth to tell I was never assertive and lately I tried assertiveness and maybe they figure me with my sz shouldn’t be allowed to…
judy
Just paranoid. I go through cycles where I perceive the normies as hostile, and a cycle where I perceive them in a friendlier disposition. Its normal.
people are lost in their own little worlds to take the time to even notice anyone else apart from close family and their circle of friends.
we are paranoid to a certain extent that is the nature of sz !
human beings have a way of boxing people, we as sz are labelled which we find disabling at times, if we label ’ the normies ’ we become ’ the labellers .’
take care
thanks for calming me down. my hostilities perceptions are quite frightening and disturbing. thanks for quelling my fears.
i’ll try not to use the term ‘normies’ anymore. thanks.
judy
I go back and forth in my thinking, depending on what my moods are like. If I am feeling good at about myself, there is less stigma in the world. If I am feeling terrible about myself or having a bad day, the stigma is everywhere. Lately and because of the changes done to my antipsychotic meds, there is less stigma in the world perpetrated by “normies”. I mean I do believe that stigma exists, but I don’t have to tell every stranger about my illness, I test the waters with certain people, and then I may tell them about my illness. After all stigma is really all about ignorance and fear - it’s a defensive stance someone takes when they don’t understand. It’s really all about their paranoia.
True… Sometimes I tell my son that perhaps I am being paranoid. That my fear of where he could be going based on his choices is scary for me as seeing him in psychosis was hard.
@ifeelblessed. I’m sorry that you feel like the world is hostile. Sometimes when my son is dealing with paranoia he perceives negativity when the intent is not there. Maybe ask yourself: Why would this person want to treat me bad? Maybe that will help you to decide if it’s paranoia or the person’s actions. I hope it gets better for you.
thanks Barbie for your well wishes. judy
I also go through cycles where everyones out to screw with me, and then there’s times that people are kind and loving. I guess the whole world is in its own cycle of love and hate…or maybe its just us…maybe its them…and round we go!
mcxmac, absolutely in agreement with you on that one.
judy
Well I think I used to feel more like that…now I try to outdo normies in school. Once I get in the swing of things, I do really well in class and often stand out. I sometimes have my delusions spike up and get distrustful of people but I am able to catch myself on it. Like when I meet a new person I might think “Do they already know me? Am I being watched and everyone knows all about me?” but then I realize it’s a delusion.
But stigma can be a problem. People have their own opinions on schizophrenia, can’t really change what other people think! My friends don’t stigmatize, they know I am aware of myself and have my symptoms under control with medication.
my best friend is my mom and I am trying to not be so wishful that she were perfect. I am hopeful I can grow closer with her.
I think that if we express love more maybe we’ll get love more. is that naiive? what do you think?
judy
I wouldn’t fall into that trap of thinking if we give more love, we’ll get more love back. It sets you up to fail because some people are incapable of showing love.
Even if they truely love you more, they can be uncomfortable showing it, then you might take it as rejection when it’s not true.
It’s not who loves you that matters as much as who you love.
I don’t think it is naive. Love your mom for who she is and love yourself for who you are. Try not to worry about the rest. 
I’ve been going through this recycle of energy where if I compliment someone, I get a smile back.
Now I’m hoping that the person I complimented will go on to compliment some one else.
But when I get a smile back I feel good enough to compliment someone else. 