Schizophrenia.com

Happy is hard work


#1

I kept picking at the locks of depression and found some key things that made me a lot happier. First, I stopped drinking and I feel so much more stable that I think that was the biggest catilyst for me being blue all the time. second thing I did was to learn not to dwell on the past. Past losses, past good times, both will make you depressed when blue, so I ignore my habit of looking back. Third, I am really getting back into painting again, and it really cheers me up. I had skipped a lot of lessons with my art instructor when I still drank, but I called her back and set up lessons again and I’m so glad I did. I can’t ever afford precious flowers for the house, but at least I get to paint them. ? My third thing is really just that I think a hobby is a good thing to have when you are on disability. thanks for reading.


#2

I think those are all good ideas, but with my quirky mind it took me back to a folk group called The Incredible String Band who wrote in a song:

No one made a joy a duty
No one -- but me.

#3

Was a long talk with my tdoc last time on the difference between happiness and joy. Finding what brings you joy is the key to happiness.


#4

Off the booze means more money for art supplies. Mo money! Mo Money!


#5

Yes. I’ve had some pretty solid hobbies ever since I was a child but I have noticed many who can not find interest in anything beyond the television.

This has been the downfall of many relationships. The partner gets bored and seeks affirmation through conversation and finally realizes how little each other have in common (forgetting how well each other do still work together as a silent couple). The partner then seeks deeper affirmation through emotional sharing but often times that which is mistaken for the deepest kind of Love is ‘sympathy’ and so arguments are fabricated.

In relationships where both partners have avid hobbies the above encounter doesn’t happen much or it’s written off as the mole hill that it is.

I’m an eighties teen. No women my age hold the same interests. Lol
Next group coming in has provided both boys and girls sharing common hobbies so hopefully better romance for Earth in centuries to come. =)


#6

Good observation! I’m not a television watcher, but I read just as much as a TV watcher watches TV and I have no other hobbies. I think I’ve made this mistake myself – looking for sympathy from my wife, who never “traded” sympathy back-and-forth in her family, and feeling left out of her life as a result. (She has a fulfilling life for herself in her Pentecostal church, but does love me deeper than mere sympathy.) So thanks for reminding me that we do share a harmonious and peaceful daily life together.

Still, I’m not sure that sharing common hobbies is a better way of living, because people’s interests and capacities change over time and the couple is left back with nothing in common, like many of us. It could be that marriage itself is not the perfect institution we would like it to be – because people aren’t perfect.


#7

Oh, I didn’t mean common hobbies. Your own personal ones that don’t leave you two sitting together often staring at the wall in front of you. XD

My partner and I have both been out of work for awhile. A friend asked how it was that we’re not down each other’s throats being locked up together so much each day.

I practically spend most of my day in my computer den and she is master of the living room television. XD


#8

As for ‘feeling’ love
I’m most responsive to passionate touch and affection.
Not the sexual type but the very sweet and kind affection that gives you the tingles that
you can get from both your spouse and child.

Large hairy male bears need pettin’ I guess.


#9

That’s our life too.


#10

There’s nothing wrong with it. Younger couples have a hard time with it because it feels too ‘married.’ and during that age our expectation of ‘True Romance’ is still getting past the floundering of all those Disney cartoons we watched as children. XD

If there are more lives than just one I suspect in some lives our counterparts find us because both are learning the same thing or have similar agenda in spiritual growth. My partner and I have a very strong but silent understanding of one another.

I think the whole modern beach house romance with two partners engaging in deep spiritually entwining sex every day for thirty + years of their romance probably doesn’t come until way later when we’re done working and can finally lay claim a selfish life as reward for all past incarnated efforts. XD


#11

Happiness is usually not a constant either. Happiness comes and goes… but I find I can make contentment stick around a lot longer.

Content and I are becoming old friends.