I’m Diagnosed as a Paranoid Schizophrenic since 1992. I would like to hear stories about other Schiz experiences that were Grandiose.
For Example: During my last Med Change I became very Psychotic. I wanted to goto a nearby Buddhist Dharma Center that was about an hour and a half away. I drove well… I didnt speed or violate traffic laws. However the whole trip to this place I thought People were shooting at me. I thought Snipers were firing at me and Assassins were driving by and shooting at me. I would feel the bullets but they didnt hurt… It was like my Body healed right after the shot. The whole trip to this place was just filled with people trying to kill me. Now This was a Grandiose experience because I thought I was invincible. I wasnt being stupid by it. It wasnt like I was gonna get a gun and shoot myself… I just thought I was surviving attacks.
I’m just curious about what others stories are that are on the Grandiose scale…
I sometimes think that people watch me with bugs in my house because I am so different and more highly functioning. It’s the physical aspect of me. I’m a retired fighter but still hit the gym and know how to fight, to say the very least. Yet I am not a stereotypical meathead, I’m an outstanding student and am on scholarships and have a very high gpa and ■■■■.
yeah I thought I was a prophet of God, even though I couldn’t guess the future if my life depended on it. I also thought that the entire world was going to start world war three because of something I did, although what exactly I can’t even remember. I also believed that I would fall the farthest into hell of anyone that ever lived at some point.
I have in the last day or been having a delusion in which I thought that the poet and artist William Blake was a prophet and that one of his poems was a prophecy which lncluded me in some way. I then began the delusion that Mr Blake and myself were connected, and that I had had my brain enlarged at birth by God to act as a human receiving station. I have come out of the delusion today and realise what a sick man I am. I am seeing the doctor tomorrow.
I thought I’d code artificial intelligence and use it to install a futuristic automated resource distribution grid. I’d start with the first country that was willing to try and expand from there. Even came up with a network based form of democracy where everyone had a say. The computer would sort out all side of the arguments and suggest the best course of action. The people would vote on everything in real time through devices similar to head phones. They also recorded everything on localized storage so that people would be able to you it in courts to increase the accuracy of criminal prosecution. Of course they could be turned off but the recording circuitry was completely independent of the networking circuitry to give people privacy and further security. The devices could also be turned off.
I came up with all that ■■■■ before I even got sick. Thinking that it was possible to do all those things drove me to some crazy grandiose self views.
I used to believe I was worth like 3 trillion dollars and was trapped in a virtual reality inside a computer while my physical body was actually in a coma with my lover waiting for me by my side, crying and holding my hand…this kind of euphoria dissapated however the deeper and longer I was delusional, led to horrors about the devil and the end of the world where I was a laser on a CD player in a spaceship sent to fire lake to deliver the devil to his destination. scared the living ■■■■ outta me.
@SnowyOwl1 yes, I wrote a book about what I used to believe too. the first thirty pages of it are on the front page of schizophrenia dot com. under “success stories” if you want more.? the name of the book is “OUT OF IT an autobiography on the experience of schizophrenia” . the book is also available on amazon dot com.
the book on amazon is in paper form. they discontinued the e books but it used to be available that way. the only free part of my book is on the front page of this site like I said. there’s about thirty pages of it on there. maybe read that and then you could find out if you want to read the whole book? thanks for your interest.
I apologize for not saying this before. on amazon there is a “look inside” feature on the book you can click on and read some or all of it there. it’s anonymous on amazon…the best way to find it on amazon is put “schizophrenia autobiography” in the search window and then my book pops up number one on the search.