I went through this for so many years. I never could come to terms that I had sz. Always thought I just got stressed out and went a little phsycotic. Had to go of meds 2 times to prove to myself that I was sz and needed my meds. Anyone there now or ever have been?
1 Like
Yes… I’ve had a few more than two Psychotic breaks (documented) usually keeping them contained. I didn’t think I was SZ until i really started to listen to the world. <Meds are helping me keep strait and stay away from BOOZE (25 yo). Since meds I’ve done much better with most things.
1 Like
Many times I have just decided that I am not ill. Don’t need meds. Threw them all out. Stayed awake for 5 days straight watching Trump on CNN!!! HELL!!!. Got back on meds after learning that I cannot function without them. So far I have done this 3 times. The worst part is telling my NP that I need emergency refills because I have tossed all my meds. You are not alone.
2 Likes
Yeah. I was diagnosed over 10 years ago, but it’s only now I’ve realised I need to be on meds, that life off them is just too unstable, unpredictable, unmanageable. I always though I was better off meds because I had more energy, then I convinced myself I was cured because I managed a whole year without being hospitalised, and that all my problems were circumstantial rather than mental. Recently though I’ve realised I’m wasting my talents and intelligence hiding away from the world because I can’t function in ‘normal’ society. I had kind of an epiphany about a month back and decided it’s time to take the meds, every day, show up at psychiatrist appts, take whatever help is on offer. I’m sick of doing nothing, I know now that I will never do anything with my life if I don’t get any better, I can’t get back the years I spent in psych wards but I can start working to get more stable and work towards at least trying to do something productive. It’s hard to accept that I will have this illness forever, it’s not easy to live with that, but I’ve not been doing myself any favours by refusing to take meds and going through the constant cycle of moods and psychosis.
1 Like
deja vu, i have quit meds multiple times just to prove to myself that i don’t need them and every single time symptoms came back. a few times i gave up meds because the little bit of meds i was on didn’t help me at all.
1 Like