It is really hard to get past being sensisitive to rejection. Took a lot conscious reframing exercises to become more comfortable with falling flat and then trying again.
Oh hey look itās me
That can be me too!
Iāve had periodic attempts to be more social. All have been failures. Iām no longer willing to subject myself to further hurt.
I have this really bad. I first learned about it in a book about social outcasts. I will definitely check this book out man ā¦
I donāt think of it as being hurt now. I think of it as being educated. A rejection is tantamount to: Okay, well now I know this doesnāt work and I will try something different next time.
Itās also okay to see what people who are better than you are at something are doing and steal from them.
Thereās a meme I saw that said, ārejection is redirection.ā I tend to see it that way now.
Oh, I am stealing that. Thank you so much.
Iām glad it works for you too. When I have a rejection, I definitely get redirected into a better situation.
I was hard pressed to find something different to try before the falls. Something I could cope with - not only in spite of the severe social anxiety, and effects of the bullying related trauma - but also that I wouldnāt have difficulty getting to and from. The reduced mobility has made it even worse.
I donāt have the āfake it to make itā ability that many other autistic people have. If I mask at all itās at the low level of being a people pleaser. For better or worse I am as I am. I find it incredibly difficult to factor in another personās body language,including facial expressions, process it, and make adjustments in real time.
I do better online, but only in a comparative sense. One that is, for the most part, intellectually rather than emotionally based.