Dad died and I feel freeer

Dad died
I felt sad but I also felt free
Should I write this
I no longer had to feel the way he wanted me to feel.
I no longer had to stand up to his standards.
I could be myelf
I love you dad

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I’m sorry your dad died. When did he pass?

Sorry to hear that hugs.

About a year and a half ago. It’s weird but I feel like I was sad but I had a feeling of freedom when he passed. I wanted to please him so much when he was alive that I often times wasn’t really myself.

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Thanks Roxanna!

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I can understand having mixed feelings. You’re human. Having a full spectrum of thoughts and emotions is normal and even healthy.

Do thoughts of his expectations still haunt you?

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Not so much CoCo. I feel like I’m
Rediscovering what I want to with myself.

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I’m glad to hear that. Maybe it’ll open up new opportunities in your life.

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Sorry for your loss.:pray:t4:

Good that you are ok.

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I’m sorry for your loss

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sorry for your loss.

I’m sorry…yes I have mixed emotions about losing my dad too.

I never thought my dad was proud of me, he was a engineer and so was my brother so I always thought because of being mentally ill he didn’t like me as much as my brother.

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I’m sorry for your loss. I lost my dad 6 years ago very suddenly and unexpectedly. I still feel very conflicted about it. I love him and I miss him, but our relationship was very difficult. He was an alcoholic and his death was because of drinking. I don’t think I’ve dealt with his death yet. I lost my cat year ago, and I have missed, mourned and cried over my cat much more than my own father. I feel very bad and quilty about it.

Year and a half is not a long time. I hope you can get your feelings sorted. It takes time.

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really sorry for what happened to you
good luck with your life

I think I know what you mean.

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When my father died, in 2005, it set our whole family free from his abuse and tyranny.

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I agree that losing a parent like most things is very complex. I’m sorry for you loss but to move from my dad dying has been challenging too. He was there for me but only when I achieved something or in crisis. He was an engineer and kind of fit the stereotype of not a great communicator.

I’m glad you feel free!

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My Fathers death was expected, he overdid it with the drink & never recovered, he was a good man & i was also wanting to please him & make him feel proud,

Our family were ready for it, he is gone nearly 10yrs but i still try to please my dad even though he is not here, when i achieve something its nice to know that my dad would have been proud of me if he had been here.

I put a lot of pressure on myself to be like my dad & when he died that fell away & i was able to just be myself (i wonder if that is the feeling of being free you talk about) i still have mental illness though.