I went on facebook to check on my baby’s daddies and see if they’d messaged me.
I was in the search bar looking them up in my contacts when their names came up on another user’s page.
It was them.
It was a kind of “spread the word” adoption page.
I scrolled all through it.
Total emotional rollercoaster.
They updated the site quite frequently,
Chronicling their heartbreak when other adoption plans had fallen through,
Taking parenting classes to prepare for fatherhood,
Even a video they made for expecting women considering adoption.
I’d never seen it.
The last post was a picture of our son looking like he’d just escaped the womb.
I’m still crying.
How could I have missed this?
It was sooo sweet,
But I swear it was physically painful to see.
I feel all the hurt of the adoption and the wound feels so fresh.
I hate days like this.
This is why I need a ■■■■■■■ forum.