Hi everyone,
After what has been a somewhat dramatic and stressful month, I have decided that some additional transparency would probably not be a bad thing. I’m sure some of you have already figured it out, but, I, voithos, am also @shutterbug, a long-time member of this community. For those who are newer and don’t know, I was formerly the user and moderator pixel. I somehow wound up being the sole moderator of the entire community close to a decade back. I lasted a few years moderating as pixel before I crashed and burned. Moderating here is tough when you have backup and kind of a nightmare when you don’t.
I was quite happy to leave the pixel username and moderating in the past, except that I was recently asked to come back as a moderator. It was a tough decision because I had a rough go of it the last time. I spent one night in an ER pumped full of Haldol after a user faked her suicide and gave me a mini-relapse. So, when I came back I didn’t want to be pixel again because of the baggage. Also, moderators who step down will tell you it’s weird for them because they’re treated differently, and this lasts for some time. I did not want to have another “cult of pixel” like before because it was so uncomfortable for me. That’s one of the main reasons I created voithos. In fact, having a separate identity was a condition of my return. The other condition was that I would not give more than a 24-hour suspension (know thyself).
Another reason for creating voithos is that having a separate moderating persona makes it easier for me to act better as a moderator. Back when I was pixel and burning out I would snap and snarl at people, I could be mean and demeaning. Having voithos, is, for me, like putting on a work uniform. When I’m “wearing” voithos I feel like I’m working and have to behave more professionally. That’s why voithos is polite. Why voithos is encouraging. Why voithos doesn’t joke with or interact with users normally. And why voithos will NEVER be mean to or demean a forum member. I think everyone agrees that moderators should use every tool or trick they have to come at things with compassion and kindness. I didn’t always do that as pixel and I regret it. I’m not going to be like that again. Having the voithos persona helps me behave better and I’m sticking with what works.
I’m dumping this out because trying to play the username shell game isn’t working for me and I feel creepy when I accidentally like one of my own posts as ozymandias. It is also contrary to my AA program for my sobriety (rigorous honesty), and that has been very concerning for me. So, I’m coming out. I’m voithos, I’m ozymandias, and I was the infamous pixel in the past.
I hope I’m still able to joke and have a good time interacting with folks as ozymandias and continue my usual fun habit of flirting with anything that has a pulse. Oh, and poking fun at Sir Level and his farting turtles - can’t forget that. I also hope I can be more helpful and more courteous as a moderator as voithos.
Sorry for the awkwardness of all this and I hope everyone is okay with the disclosure.
voithos / ozymandias / pixel
p.s. pixel is still a jerk and people should throw rotten fruit at him.
