I miss appointments. A lot. Part of it is my terrible memory but a much larger piece is the anxiety I get the day before. I worry, in a constant stream in the back of my mind, that I’ll be late, or I will oversleep (which often happens, but I’m out of Seroquel right now so ha ha sleep? whaat?), or whoever I’m going to see will be angry with me for something.
I’m on probation and involved with various social service organizations. Meeting with these people is almost always beneficial but it absolutely wrecks me for the entire day. I can’t just be brave, relax, get a good night’s rest, go to my appointment, then sigh and think to myself, “Yay, I did it!” Not anymore. Now it’s more like… I push myself to the edges of a panic attack worrying about timing and whether or not I’m in trouble, then don’t feel like talking to the person I’m seeing, mumble and fidget until they tell me I can go, then feel exhausted and want to sleep for two days. And if anything even slightly negative comes up in the meeting, I beat myself up for it for the rest of the day.
So uhhh. Does anybody else experience this or something similar? How do you cope with it? It is a constant issue.