An update, my betterment

Hello all,

It’s been a while!

I’ll jump right into it. I was tempted to title this post “i found the cure for schizophrenia!”, but I’ll have to withhold the excitement a little. Because that isn’t really true, though it feels like it.

I’ve landed on a paradigm that suggests healing from trauma. If for nobody else, then just for me; but hopefully this post can help someone else.

I had a thought experiment earlier.

  • What was my thinking like before
  • What is it like now
  • What is the difference
  • And what started the difference

For me, it was trauma. Specifically not being able to comprehend my siblings moving away. I had lost my identity. And from there, lost my sociability.

And what do you get when you take a person like me and subtract the social self? Apparently a free-roaming maverick seeking the approval of everyone.

I was faced with a choice. I couldn’t choose and the consequences was living two lives. Discovering my new found freedom, I made other choices, rising above subjectivity in favor of being 100% me. From there every one of my thoughts became split, complicating the already complicated life.

And… It’s taken me a hell of a long time to come back around… But everything falls into place when I remember… Everyone’s human just like me. Societal rules aren’t the problem, they’re simply human connectedness. And jumping ship leaves a person more lonely than they could possibly imagine.


So I’d like your thoughts.

I’m not quite following, sorry, but are you saying you’re no longer living that sort of split/dibble life anymore? If so, congratulations! That must have taken a lot of courage and hard work to get through!

I didn’t get what you mean. Do you mean you are happier because you solved some emotional issues? If so, it’s great and I’m happy for you! We need more positive topics here.

Sorry, I don’t get it. You’re being way too vague and not specific enough.

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