It’s been a while!
I’ll jump right into it. I was tempted to title this post “i found the cure for schizophrenia!”, but I’ll have to withhold the excitement a little. Because that isn’t really true, though it feels like it.
I’ve landed on a paradigm that suggests healing from trauma. If for nobody else, then just for me; but hopefully this post can help someone else.
I had a thought experiment earlier.
- What was my thinking like before
- What is it like now
- What is the difference
- And what started the difference
For me, it was trauma. Specifically not being able to comprehend my siblings moving away. I had lost my identity. And from there, lost my sociability.
And what do you get when you take a person like me and subtract the social self? Apparently a free-roaming maverick seeking the approval of everyone.
I was faced with a choice. I couldn’t choose and the consequences was living two lives. Discovering my new found freedom, I made other choices, rising above subjectivity in favor of being 100% me. From there every one of my thoughts became split, complicating the already complicated life.
And… It’s taken me a hell of a long time to come back around… But everything falls into place when I remember… Everyone’s human just like me. Societal rules aren’t the problem, they’re simply human connectedness. And jumping ship leaves a person more lonely than they could possibly imagine.
So I’d like your thoughts.