I think I am not psychotic this time a bunch of numbers began to call I installed Truecaller and they have the most stupid names ever I invented an idiot to my house and he connected a pendrive I have my private “dairy” where I write the most stupid garbage my mind can think of I think they hacked my computer and are reading my murderous stupid fanfics and know all the stupid crap I do besides I lowered my Zyprexa to 7.5 mg and dedicated a song to an anime character almost psychotic (or maybe rotting in loneliness no wonders if people do this to me) now I am on 10 mg Zyprexa and 10mg Abilify I think I am going to become the next Chris Chan a guy singed the same song I put en extract on my shitty private blog when walking with me hilarious they know my murderous comments on that blog I said I wanted to rape someone (a guy which is as worse as if he were a woman I am a girl) form that university there sucks to be me I HATE MY VIOLENT SCHIZOPHRENIA
You don’t sound well at all. I can’t diagnose what’s wrong with you, but you should probably seek out emergency psychiatric treatment based on what you have shared.
Yeah I regret my pdoc lowering my meds I hate it I don’t know if it is a violent schizophrenia or I’m just a disgusting psychopath but 20 mg Zyprexa erased almost all the evilness in me by sedating me.
5mg risperidone fixed all my positive symptoms and violent thoughts plus actions. I am not evil anymore. I would rather have negative symptoms than being evil or dangerous and suicidal.
Did you ever disclose these thoughts of rape to your Pdoc/therapist as was suggested in previous posts you have made? I think you need help working through these issues. If you are still hiding them from your treatment team, I think you should stop.