I have no one to talk to
I feel alone
There are things
I can never speak of
Just carry inside
Like a sack of stones
Sitting in my belly.
So I sit with my stomach churning
And my mind racing
With thoughts of paranoia
And self loathing.
I can cry tears for everyone else
But not one for the me
Trapped in this crazy shell.
If people knew
What lurked in my brain
Theyd turn and run
Or call the authorities
Have me committed
So my only defense
Isnt insanity
Its falsity.
Dangerously I know
Sometimes things seep through.
Ugly paranoid ignorant things
Things that shame me.
I run those conversations
Til every word drops
Like rote we learned in school.
So I sit here wishing I could cry for me
But I will cry for you instead
Maybe someone is shedding tears
For me too.
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