Im with you there man. Seems meds dont take it away just helps my thought process so i don’t become irrational about what i am experiencing anymore. I just laugh and watch the visuals i get during the night, knowing now everything i see and hear is not always real. I struggled with that for awhile and as you said, insight has been the strongest cure for my road to recovery. But i am sza so the emotional stuff and mood swings have become my main problem since not obsessing over hallucinations anymore. My delusions still hold strong tho and i fight them seems like daily.
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Dude you sound like your telling my story! I was dxd 3 1/2 years ago but spent the majority of the 3 years since in constant psychosis until this past summer when i guess the meds started working and i gained some insight and acceptance of my illness. Sza, ptsd, and ocd. Its a fun mix to try and handle. I font feel like the person i was when i was high functioning but s3lf medicating to my eventual collapse and break from reality. Thank god ive had my wife to help me manage and keep menout of trouble or else im sure id have been hospitalized for that entire time. I feel your pain @flameoftherhine.
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I’m not actually schiz. I’m really sza.
I am very much of the opinion that what society values and actually needs are completely separate things. If I never teach college or do anything “meaningful” with my education but instead throw myself into missionary work, I would be considered much lower functioning than the CEO of Monsanto, for instance, but would probably be a more valuable contributor to society in reality. Of course my income might make me look failed but my history would not. In other words, the concept of being high functioning has a purpose but in general that purpose has less to do with anything that really matters than it has to do with ranking earning potential.
Since I am still talking, I think there is a vast difference between high functioning schizophrenics and high functioning individuals who are not schizophrenic and I think you compare yourself to the latter. Perhaps you never had money and power but you had the strength to raise a son and work which is more than plenty of “normal” women can pull off. Many of those with careers and educations had circumstances that allowed those things to come into being; it frequently does not mean they function more highly.
Still, if I had kids, I too would hope that they would do better financially than I have so far. I’d hope that they could go to school for something practical and not just those few things they could excel at, like I did.
Also, what you want for your son is commendable but I think it would be great if he didn’t need medication even if it meant taking a little hit on the paycheck.
I’m sorry for rattling on but by now you’ve probably seen that it is what I do. Illness or personality, I just start going and it’s hard to stop.
I hope your day is lovely.
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You are a naturally encouraging person and I appreciate that, @Wendy.
I hope your day is lovely too.
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Well I acquired the English language before the onset of the disease.
My functioning is very low, no way on earth that I can study a language now.
I meant the picture of the woman that he posted. Sorry about the confusion.
When I started getting ill I had not yet learnt any independent skills. When I left hospital, with the older woman who became my wife, to live away from my parents, I was clueless.
Over time I learnt a few things but to this day I don’t have much practical sense.
The only thing I’m really adept at is managing my finances.
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