Schizophrenia.com

A dads lament

some times there are no words
sometimes

sometimes there are no actions
only love

when the penny drops
and heaven is only a stones throw away
i will pay the ferry man

when the penny drops
when the axle falls
when the shouts all cry

what a life, what a life

i drink to remember
i drink to remember
the good times

i want to lament
i want to sing
and listen to your songs

but you are not there

but i am there
in your stead

i love you dad

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idk if it is a good idea writing these but i have found in recent years that writing down my thoughts or virtually unscrambling them to see what i really think in some sort of sense gives me some sort of comfort and maybe even a bit of closure as well,

i started writing poems on the old forum software when i was too paranoid to post topics and replies (guess i was just looking for someone to like something about me) and my poems reflected what was in my heart at the time even when symptomatic,

i dont want to trivialize what i am writing about and that is a big worry of mine, i try to be as honest as i can about what i write and that is all i can do, if it doesnt make sense then i guess my brain is misfiring but i can usually correct it, anyway, i am writing this because it is the only thing keeping me sane right now and here is my newest poem for you to cast your eyes over,

you are a star

The sky was a masterpiece of stars,
i saw your star.
You were in among the Rembrants
and Monets of the heavens,
you shone the most
like a firefly in a cave casting
reflections from crystal ceilings
and when i strung the stars together
i saw your face
and when i saw the fireflies dancing
on gods breath i let out a sigh
i whispered ‘i can here you’
You have not gone!

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The second one is even more vivid and touching…

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