Families can wind you up like no-one else. Buddhist nun Pema Chödrön, author of bestselling When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice For Difficult Times has been one of editor Suzy Greaves’ biggest inspirations, and her advice might help you gain a new perspective on family strife
22 OCTOBER 2014 } by Suzy Greaves
- Don’t expect the pieces to line up as you want them to
‘If you’re always trying to make sure it’s all pleasure, no pain, you’ll get stuck in a cycle that’s one of the major causes of suffering. You’re thinking, “Other people have it together. If I could just scramble enough, I could avoid these bad feelings.” It’s a myth to think you can line up all the pieces so everything goes your way.’
- Stop trying to control everything
‘Be open and receptive to situations instead. In Buddhism we’re taught that we are not actually in control, which is a scary idea. But when you let things be as they are, you will be a much happier, more balanced, compassionate person.’