I’ve noticed lately that no matter how good of a mood or how positive I’m being and naturally connecting alot of people tend to be robotic and hollow in interaction as if they are trying to see my illness more than myself. I feel pried into about my mental things when I’m totally fine until I feel as if I’m being observed and criticised for simply being myself and letting go of my vices. I feel as if my illness has allowed society an excuse to take away my privacy as well as my dignity because I feel no privacy. The way I put it is you can cage an animal but feed it and show it love and it will be happy but if you like it with sticks then sit around and watch and criticise it’s anger or distaste for socializing acting like you arent the cause is utterly ridiculous. When I have my space I allow mydelf to be who I am regardless but i have noticed my privacy and integrity being under a microscope. Just the little thoughts I say to myself and my natural flow are being belittled by people around me. I also can have a random name pop in my head and hear that perdon talking and or feel a reaction. I can manage to keep calm and composed but I feel as if it has became a game to people and is hindering my growth and peace of mind. I’m also hearing rrally harsh frequencies as well as year weakening frescoes as if they are trying to sway my moods with these frequencies. I feel a very strange pressure as if I am having to prove myself or be exposed for absolutely no reason. As If I were put on a stage naked and supposed to shoe my confidence and not focus on the little bit of bad ice done because thst seems to be all that people or “voices” focus on.
Hello, can I give you a friendly tip? Put breaks in your paragraphs; its hard to read walls of text and lots of people including myself will skip blocks of writing without reading them because its a chore. Break up your writing and put spaces in.
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