Zombies, Aliens, and Mental Warfare

So…this is a story about a woman who has terrifying thoughts and fears about zombies. And that evil men are going to turn all of her loved ones into monsters and unleash them onto her so that she will be torn apart and eaten by those she loves the most. She is constantly checking to make sure the evil men have not hidden them in the closets or the garage, and the absolute most traumatizing events have happened while in the psych ward, where she laid herself out (multiple times over the course of many visits) so that the other patients could have a chance to get away. She would stand at the door to keep watch, ready to take the first bites and maybe even lead them away so that the other patients would be safe. Every day, even outside the hospital, the terror grips her, and especially at night, when paranormal things happen to her, and creatures she cannot see touch her, tap on her pillow, and make noises in the room. Meds dont help, and she has tried every single one there is to try because this has been going on for years now. She even crucified herself out in the wilderness, after being told she could save the world if she would only lie down, nail herself to a cross, and allow the wild animals to rip her apart and eat her. Zombies, sacrificial ideation, and aliens. That is her life.

She feels crippled, and the thoughts are relentless. She spends most of her days sitting in the safety of her own home, away from people because she doesnt feel like one of them anymore, and all hopes, aspirations, and dreams feel crushed under the weight of the monster inside of her mind. She tries to get back into a normal life, normal routine, but once established, is foiled yet again by the destructive force who keeps testing every aspect of her being.

She feels reduced to an awareness of a mind that is mostly in a constant state of fear. Fear. That is how they control and manipulate her. If only she could find a way to break free…all the therapy in the world, years of it, has shown more regression than progression. On the outside, she appears normal, able bodied to tackle on whatever goal or dream she might have. But on the inside, there is a little girl, screaming at the top of her lungs, in the fetal position. Screaming, screaming, screaming.

No one to hear you, little girl. Thats what the monster says.

Years and years of this. Many years spent inpatient and outpatient, in a therapists office and a psychiatrists office. To no avail. Thus the truth beats down the walls she has built to protect her own sanity - nothing she can do will ever be able to make it all stop.

She feels very alone. The constant mental warfare has left her exhausted, and isolated. How much more can she take? She has never given up, and resiliency runs deep inside of her. Debilitating though it may be, she continues to keep trying. Learn to live with it, and accept that, although there may be nothing she can do to stop it, she sure as hell is not going to let it break her spirit. She is a warrior, and He is on her side. The mental beatings may be relentless, but she has a fire inside of her soul that keeps her going.

And even though her torment may be for the rest of her life, she will continue to hold her head up, teeth bared, ready to continue the attempts at conquering the evil inside her head.

And she knows, one day, she will be free, and the suffering will be gone, and she will be delivered her into His arms.

Hope and faith guide her. And her heart beats with passion and love for all of mankind.

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