Become more independent. Settle down. Make some friends.
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To make it to 2019.
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Finding a medicine that allows me to do things. I have my eye on sarcosine.
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I hope my daughter is a good mother.
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Progress and moving forward in some way. For me that means getting fitter and losing some weight. Enjoy life for what it offers.
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To finally learn how to play the piano. I tried to play at my sister’s house on Christmas, in her basement, and I sounded horrible. Nobody said a word about it. They were being kind. I’m used to playing on a keyboard now. I can’t play on a piano anymore. I need to start practicing on a piano again.
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I intend to lose a lot of weight
I also want to meditate every day
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I want to leave my home town.
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I would like to start volunteering. I already have an approved application with an assisted living facility and have done an orientation- just waiting to hear back from the lady who would be overseeing me.
I want to start a savings account. I’ll be paying off all of my credit cards at the end of January, and this will free up several hundred dollars a month, so I can do it if I can stick to my budget (I’m an impulsive spender.).
I want to be a better mother. My oldest daughter is leaving for college in the fall, and I want to make her last few months with us special. I don’t know how yet, but I’m sure to think of something (feel free to suggest things!). If I can spend less time in my room, I can spend more time with my two younger children as well, so that would be great.
I would really like to lose the 18 lbs. I packed on since this summer. I don’t know what caused it, maybe meds, but I also realized I was off of my thyroid medication since July, so maybe that is why. I just started that back up a couple of days ago, so maybe, maybe it will help. Fingers crossed!
Last but not least, I’d like to make a friend. I feel so alone all the time. I’d like to go to a NAMI meeting
and meet someone who understands what I’m dealing with and won’t judge me for it. I could really use a friend. I don’t have any,
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I just want to have a best friend and to be happy.
I didn’t ask for anything this year because nothing matters.
I just want a clear mind.
Clear and happy.
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My wish is to continue to be sober and become stable again.
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I want to lose 20 pounds this year and get an internship in the fall meet the firms event for the upcoming year. I want to graduate with a bachelors degree before I turn thirty. I want to find someone to marry that loves me and meets all of my shallow requirements. I cried myself to sleep last night after looking at a dating website thinking about how I’m going to die alone. I’m so ugly! I also can’t have kids cuz the Meds I’m on at high doses discourage breastfeeding and I assume that that means it would be even harder on a baby in the womb, so I can’t have kids of my own without either passing on schizophrenia and or putting the baby through hell while in the womb. I doubt an adoption agency would consider giving me a baby cuz I have schizophrenia. It’s hard to find men that want to marry and not have kids. It doesn’t help that I’m shallow and ugly. I have like nothing going for me. I think the only thing I kind of have is that I’m not super mean but I can still be mean sometimes so yeah I’m screwed. I try to tell myself that it’s ok if I never marry or have kids cuz I can just live with my parents for as long as they’re alive and then move to live nearby one or both of my siblings when I get older. I tell myself that I can have purpose by donating money but who knows if I actually will.
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Aw I wouldn’t fret about dating. It is quite easy! If you are a girl, you are likely to get quite a few messages a day. Just be sure to write “serious relationships only” to avoid creeps. I like match the best. I’m glad to see you are doing so well! Many sz on the Reddit forum have school or jobs going on, so you’re not alone. I think loosing weight will definitely get you higher quality hits though because guys are shallow. Don’t think you have to compromise so much due to illness. You’ve come so far already. My goal, as long as it’s within my limits, I try to live like a normal person and not baby myself. Get a job, get a relationship, it’s all within reach.
I would prefer to try on christianmingle cuz in addition to my shallowness I want a Christian man. I’m in Northern California so there are fewer Christians here than the rest of the country. I’ll try to remember to say that I’m only interested in serious relationships. I hope the best for you and that you live the life you want.
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Eish that is terrible @Fellowman.
Glad you feeling better man, sounds like you went through a rough time…
Cape Town is busy, lots of people on holiday so its rather vibey.
Stay Strong
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OK, imo these thoughts are even more harmful than the fact you have a schizophrenia diagnosis. If you think you are shallow, ugly, and mean (sometimes) your reality will reflect that. If you decide to get woke, put your best food forward, and be kind to others, you will attract better people in general and not just a good Christian man. California is the USA’s most populous state so I’m sure there are lots of Christians there. Don’t shortchange yourself because of your negative beliefs. Change your beliefs and change your life.
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