Hi I was surprised today after playing some basketball games that afterwards one of the players said I have good peoples skills etc. I thought it was a good compliment because in actuality that is who I am trying to become. More smiling, less hating. Higher self esteem. The ability to believe in yourself.
@lesterwaynedobo very cool. You’ve been working hard on over coming this. Very cool. I just wanted to say, I think your doing a great job kicking SZ down to small pieces.
For my compliment, it was great when a cop who knew me at my worst saw me a few months ago and was surprised that I’ve changed my life around and gave me a congratulations on that.
But I love it when people say that I have a very kind nature. I work on being kind. That wasn’t always the case in my life…
So when people say I’m nice or kind I feel a great sense of accomplishment for turning my negative direction around.
One of my friend I knew for a while called me a true friend. It was unusual, out of the blue. Felt happy about that
That it isnt my fault.
The very fist one that really hit me right was after a really hard night of me babbling and psychotic and I couldn’t get my head straight and everything just felt wrong and I just scared the pieces out of most of my family with my pacing and babbling…
My tiny sis took my hand and said, “It’s Ok J. I believe you.”
She has no idea how much that small kindness saved me.
My sister told me she has watched me sometimes in social situations and that my social skills are better than I think are.
But I’m a sucker for a women telling me I’m handsome or good looking. Any women tells me that I’m good-looking and I start planning out where we are going for our honeymoon and what we will name our first kid.
Last night the oldest person at the party, the host’s oldest brother who graduated from Elon years ago told me “you are the wisest person here” at a reunion party. I really liked it. My uncle told me that my struggle is noble and heroic and not selfish, as I want to become a psychologist and write a book on schizophrenia. I’ve had a lot of complements, to be honest, a few stand out. Some people just tell me that I am strong and that I am more of a man than they are. That means less to me, I struggle with hating life for all of the pain it brings us, me included, but really all ill people, mentally or physically, mentally is worse in my opinion.
Some good times make me feel like life can be more good than bad. Every time I train, I feel great. Every time I am with friends and family, it is better than being alone. Every time I see a doctor and just quit forcing myself to be so strong and say what I think and feel and be human and get help, I feel better. Intimacy is nice too, its nice to break the ice with another human being and be passionate, but it is nothing like emotional or intellectual stimulation, its just a bodily function.
I’m going through a rough time. My current problems are solvable but I’ve needed extra help lately. Anyway, this past month BOTH my psychiatrist and my therapist have told me that I’m a good guy and I’m likable… It may not seem like much but it was a BIG deal. I didn’t realize it until they said it that when I go about my daily business of surviving that I constantly feel the exact opposite of what they told me.
When this women I am attracted to, said that I’m good looking . She’s such a sweetheart. One of these days I’m gonna ask her if she wants to go to diinner. Cause she brought up me and her going to dinner in the first place.
Well, I guess for a SZ that’s a breakthrough, isn’t it? I’m taking James’ advice and starting to work on my social skills using a handbook he recomended. I guess I’ll be fine too, if I pay attention and read carefully.
For my best compliment… I had only just met a smiling, cheerful guy with curly hair and, within a few hours of playing pool and talking and laughing and drinking good beer he suddenly interrupted me and said something hard to translate in English which kinda means: "Has any man ever had what it takes to face you? " - in the context, he was referring to my intelligence.
Two months later, I became his wife.
I ought to listen to my father and order a new spectacles because I thought it was “Your best ever accomplishment someone has [assigned] you”.