Because it’s about being lonely for death. I thought I couldn’t have been friendless if I could feel loneliness. I mean that should mean that I have been close to someone and missed them. But, no, I think I am just lonely for death.
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That sounds like no fun!
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It’s ok when you’re my age and tired.
I think about going to heaven after death, makes everything seem worthwhile.
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“Lonely for death” is such a beautiful phrase, @PinCushion. I don’t wish you any suffering though. You’re such a great inspiration on this forum, but I know online relationships aren’t the same as in person ones.
If it’s any consolation, I have work relationships and family and even a husband, but I am also “lonely for death” because even with other people I feel keenly alone.
you never know when she will call on you…no point in wishing it… you cannot will her into being… we must just wait… even being reckless she has denied me… I understand this longing but I will find things I enjoy until she comes for me… this seems to be the point of life… find that little laugh or smile while we wait for her to collect what we owe…
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“You young kids might not want to read this thread”
thanks for warning. I’ll read friends’ replies.
I am waiting for death, so my suffering can end.
I recommend the Death story arch of Terry Pratchett’s Discworld series.
ok 
thanks Erez
I have a delusion that I’m in purgatory trying to be a better person, and the right side of the mind that deals with emotion is the side associated with heaven, and the left side, logic is hell. My voices keep telling me to go to hell, they are trying to condemn me to hell
Tell your left side that it’s already putting you in hell just having to listen to you. Hell is a state of mind.
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You are not wrong there bud! I wish they would just leave me alone -.-