I need in put. Last night I kicked my nine year old off of you tube told him go do something else for a while too much internet no good. He was moody. So I said what’s wrong. He spent a half an hour telling me about Thomas, a boy at school who has been tripping him on purpose, who gets in trouble all the time, how he don’t want me to tell his teacher cause it dont work, how he is scared and all of that. Then after all that tearful stuff when I told him I’d make sure his teacher addressed it he says “Mom I made it up I was just upset you kicked me off the lap top.” I don’t know what to believe. I didn’t punish him for lying if he lied and I tucked him in and he is in a better mood this morning but I just don’t know what to believe and also what to think. Anyone good with child psychology??? desimb
if it was me i would want to help and just tell him to ignore it if it was true,
if it wasn’t true then i would say that you dont need to make up stories just because you were upset and i would say that that was a bit silly.
i dont think a kid is likely to make something like that up tho, so i would say that you are worried about him and you dont want anything to happen to him and give him a big hug, x
It’s possible that he is saying it is made up so that you don’t talk to his teacher about it. Being called names for getting adults involved can sometimes be really hard on the person being bullied. Now they are being bullied and being called a sissy. They don’t want to look weak. It’s hard to tell what is truth but if it really is happening then getting to the bottom of it may be needed. Maybe contact the teacher and first see if Thomas is really a student that is causing or getting into a lot of trouble. If he is then chances are the rest is true too.
If you call the teacher and ask if their is a Thomas in the school then the teacher will want to know why are you asking. I don’t trust teachers from having bad ones when I was in school. I’d just tell him to avoid that particular kid.
I keep contact with my son’s friend’s parents. When someting comes up like my son calling his friend annoying, his mom calls me to clear everything out. We have become friends now so it’s easier to ask without fear of stepping on someone’s toes.
This is a kind of friendship we have been building up for 3 years. My son is 9.
What I am trying to say is to keep contact with other parents and maybe they know if there is a Thomas in school. Parents talking to each other doesn’t put the bullied kid in danger of getting more crap.
My 12 y son (autistic) was bullied in school from 6-9 years of age. We tore down the school because they didin’t see it. Now he is in his 5th school and it works well. But he still remembers the older kids trying to throw him down on the freeway or crushing his glasses. Once he ended up in ER because of an older boy hitting him in the stomach and he got a bleeding in his pancras. That’s when we took him out of school.
I’d say that all the other detailed stuff about the bullying and being scared is real and this last sentence was a way to make you not call the teacher. He might be really scared. If the other kid gets in trouble, the bullying might just get worse. Most kids get angry when you kick them off computers, not admit to being scared about stuff.
But that is just my odd idea.
Nope, havent taken Child Psychology, im concentrating in behavioral neuroscience not cognitive psychology. I can tell you all about the various regions of the brain, what they do and how they affect eachother though, LOL.
But seriously I would just let it slide. I would lie sometimes when I was a kid, he just wanted to stay on the internet. Remember that kids dont have adult freedom and youtube may the the greatest thing for them, video games and the internet were the greatest things in life when I was 10.
But adults can do whatever they want. My new favorite thing is powerlifting, kids cant do that. Also, kids cant have relationships or engage in casual sex, and they also cant party and drink. So what I really mean to say is that the internet is the best thing ever at this point in his life, so just feel sorry for him LOL
My parents bought me video games and an ipod and let me use the computer because I was a straight A student. Maybe work out a rewards system.
you know if it was me i would be worried what you might do but i would want to tell you at the same time, i think sometimes we just need someone to talk about things that are bothering us so that we are not bottling it all up and making us feel even worse, but at the same time you dont want anyone to know, your son probably trusts you enough to tell you this and he was hoping you wouldnt tell anyone i think, probably because he doesnt want to make it worse for himself or bring anyone else into it, he probably wants to deal with it himself but just wanted a bit of support and encouragement, thats what i think anyway, take care.
Thanks. I think we have all had a bad winter around here. But thanks for the ideas. desimb
I ain’t good with child psych but I myself had a similar event as a 9 year old only I wasn’t on computers. my mom gave the boy in class a piece of her mind and I was so embarrassed about it I told her it was all a lie.
dealing with hostile environment for your child is difficult. just remember for the child going through it is is… hell.
once when i was a kid my dad came in and found we were watching horse racing on the T>V he cut the plug off the TV but we spent a whole summer doing much more interesting things. They dont always like whats good for them.