I was thinking back when I was just a wee 77nick77 back in elementary school. What I remember most about my second or third grade years was all the time I spent in my room playing with myself.
Uh, let me re-phrase that, lol.
I spent a lot of time alone in my room playing with my toys.
Looking back, this is what I remember most. I mean it didn’t bother me at all at the time, in fact I was very happy spending every day building stuff with my Lego’s and my blocks and my Lincoln Logs and staging huge battles with all my little plastic army men.
But it kind of bothers me now that I was alone so much. I mean my mom was always home and she was not a deliberately cruel or mean person but I kind of wish she had not let me alone without any friends so much. She had her own problems and was doing the best she could but now I feel all that isolation hurt me socially now. I wonder how much stuff I missed out on in the growing up process like how to socialize… IDK. Who knows?
I played alone too. Well, with a whole group of friends that I made up. I didn’t really have issues connecting with others I don’t think. I wasn’t shy or anything. I just preferred to live in my own world. Hindsight…
I’ve always had friends, but I always had to call them, not the other way around, I don’t know whether that was because they expected it or whether I brought it on myself. People respected me, but they never asked my opinion.
I was always social. I got bullied a lot because I was school smart but I learned to be friendly to everyone.
Still. I remember bad ocd behavior in grade one playing in the playground. I had to do things a particular way. I would agree with you. I always was a little different and I don’t think the upbringing would make much of a difference. I had a good emotional upbringing…that schizophrenia was going to bite my ass no matter what…
What gets me is it took till I was 29 to get on the meds. Things could have been a lot different for sure back then.