Yes/No medication

I am suffering a lot its probably the illness or probably because I have injected with medications.

I would however consciously never take the medications.

It is just my choice and I believe that as long as I am not harming anyone I am entitled for that choice.

I believe that if you can’t escape it then it’s not drama it’s real.

As long as you learn from it and practice what you’ve learned its not pointless.

Hopefully when you get deep into a really bad episode that practice of what you’ve learned previously will get you through.

Im just learning this and it’s really helped me because im in a constant loop where I wish it wasn’t real but it is and its like im relearning this everyday.

I’m sorry this is hitting you. I have this conversation almost every morning with myself… I feel great. Why am I doing this? Do I really need this?

I am med compliant (NOW) and it’s still a struggle. I will take my meds… doesn’t mean I like them. But I do like being stable.

I do still have some break out symptoms… but there are little things that the meds help with…

I like:
not being completely out of my head accusing my family of things during a paranoid spike …
Not being in hospital…
Not having long conversations with the wind…
being able to from a sentence with no word salad…
even on my bad days, having the motivation to at least get up and take a bath.

I’d say… It’s a no-no to do it on your own with no help. There are other ways to get through this… there are some people on the forum who are successfully med free…
But they have hypnotherapy, CBT, other support systems in place.

I’ve been going through CBT for a while and it’s helped me lower the dose when I’m doing well. I would love to be med free… but I’m working with my doc towards that goal… not just quitting my meds when ever.

I’m sorry your having this internal struggle… it’s draining after a while.

Good luck, stay strong… and if you really want to quit the meds… please keep your doc in the loop and a crisis plan in place.

I’m rooting for you.

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Most doctors won’t go along with it. I have heard of a few that do, but it’s rather rare.

I also know a few people who have quit on their own successfully by weaning themselves off and if they start feeling agitated they will take some… they will cut down to 3/4, then 1/2, then 1/4, 1/8, and off in 2 or 3 weeks to avoid the shock of withdrawal and the mental and physical reactions…While they struggled at first they successfully overcame.
One such person was on 6 psych meds and couldn’t work, drive, or have a relationship…they quit and are now married, working, and driving, happily…

Why is it that you only list two options: Taking medications or quitting them? Why not consider asking your psychiatrist about a dose reduction or medication change?

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i think the question you need to ask yourself is whether you are mentally prepared. when i say prepared i mean, what will you do if this happens or what if that happens, if you have the voices under control etc.
ive been off meds for around a year, so it can be done but dont go into it thinking ‘f*ck meds’, you need to go into it like, ‘okay im going off meds but if i feel i need to go back on them, then i will’ mentality. then you need to ask yourself if you will be able to acknowledge the fact you need to go back on meds if you feel like you will relapse and end up in hospital.
yea weening off meds is probably the best way to go, i went off mine cold turkey and it was okay for first couple of days, but then it hit me in the face with a ton of bricks, next 2-3 weeks were a struggle but i forced myself out of it…errm i guess i wouldnt recommend it.
but i think its only something you should consider after you sort out/ come to terms with about the ‘messed up inside’ part first? idk

I agree with others on here that stopping cold turkey is probably not in your best interest. If you feel the medications are not helping that’s something to discuss with your pdoc. They can then fix your prescription, or even gradually take you off the medication.

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Against all advice I’m off them 2 days now, keeping on the anti-Depressant tho for now, I need my voices back as lunatic as it sounds, I don’t feel like me, that’s the only me I know. It’s been me as long back as I can remember, I don’t know, I may go back on meds if I feel myself slipping. I may restart them soon here depending on what I see this next day or so here…

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because thats like asking the world to stop turning. They never want to reduce dosage. Just read the posts here, all Pdocs want as much medicine as possible in you. Never mind the side effects. Its a game of russian roulette, can you tolerate the drugs or not. Doesnt necesarrily mean your a better person just because you tolerate the meds better,

Not true. I’ve lost count of how many times psychiatrists have reduced my dose.

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What exactly is the drama?

What do you mean run off? Take off from your roots? If so, I ask that you never run off. I was a homeless kid and teen; I ran off. I have never been homeless as an adult but I have taken off. Horrible things such as rape happen. My life is not as fascinating as someone I admire. Her story may or may not move you. I know there is nothing dramatic about her trials.

Let me know what you think of Margie Profet if you read the article.

The Mysterious Case of the Vanishing Genius

“Margie Profet generated solutions to seemingly intractable puzzles of biology. Then she disappeared.”

I wanted to add, Ms. Profet was found. I always forget this fact is not in the first article.

http://weeklyscientist.blogspot.com/2009/07/margie-profets-unfinished-symphony.html

I consider me being SZ drama, I hate putting it on or around people (family) therefore I think of taking myself out of the picture as alleviating the drama. I have taken off, the last psychosis I went in, in dec the cops 5150 me bare foot about to jump from the bridge into the freeway. I hate being a problem in anyone’s life like this. That’s why I so absolutely want to get better. So I’m not some source of drama for anyone…I hate letting them down, I’m hard on myself about all of it

No one with SZ is some source of drama. When I isolated myself and became harmed because of that isolation & homelessness, I never used the word drama—I attacked myself with self-hate.

In time because of awesome compassionate folks, people I’ve met and others through books, who have challenged me to not hate myself by beginning to love what is in me that they love and respect, I stopped the self-hate.

Your posts show that you are thoughtful and expect intellectual challenges.

Instead of using SZ as an example I will try to use those who were rescued from sex slavery. As you know, they have every reason in the world to want to isolate themselves and not trust anyone, and some may feel that they are the problem. Their blogs show that they have been supported and have or are recovering but there is always that bit of uneasiness at times that suggest they feel vulnerable. Still they snap out of it and allow others to love them and they continue to love themselves.

I work in the nursing/medical field. I have seen numerous nurses escorted off Residential Long Term Homes by police as they were investigated to have stolen medications from the residents. My point about this fact is that these nurses are the one’s with problems that drain folks. With searches online, I can list examples from other professions and subcultures in society.

I hope some folks come into your life who lift you up and reach out to you when you are down.

I have been off the meds for about 18 years.

Thus I have no side effects to deal with.

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What are things like otherwise?

Things are a tough battle, but I refuse to be governed by chemicals.

My schizo was induced by drugs. I had experienced a nasty case of hypoglycemia which is the opposite to diabetes.

This reduction in glucose levels led to dementia. Eventually I no longer could know which was my left hand nor my right hand. I was no longer able to know which hand held the fork nor which hand held the knife. I no longer knew the names of people that I had been working with for 5 years. I eventually could not read sentences without having to read them over and over and over before I could grasp there meaning. Later on I could no longer recognize some words without having to read them letter by letter.

Once having found the cause of all this, and beginning a reversal of it, It took me 8 years to relearn a whole lot of this, including how to write. But the recovery was not complete. So the docs gave me a cat scan and could see that neural brain activity was still below the norm. So they gave me dopamine enhancer drugs.

This caused schizophrenia symptoms to appear. So they said, don’t worry, we will take you off the drugs and you will be back to your old self in 2 weeks. 19 years have passed by and the old self never came back.

Then my psychiatrist, not that long after the all hell broke lose, said that he was no longer seeing people of my age bracket. He gave me my medical files and guess what ? All the information concerning this drug induced schizophrenia had been carefully removed.

When I tried to hook up with other psychiatrists, they all gave me the OK that they could help me, but eventually my original psychiatrist passed the info that if I was classified as a schizo via their actions, I could sue my original psychiatrist. So they all dumped me after saying either that they could not help me, or that there was nothing wrong with me. Thus they all covered each others butts.

I, in turn, was left out in the cold.

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My first reaction was - that’s a lot of ■■■■. Don’t usually use that word unless I drop something. It’s good that you are managing and without the meds + their side effects. Psychiatry in an infant science, or is it a science?

I couldn’t survive without my meds.

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I wish it was a lot of ■■■■, but in truth, it was pure hell. I broke into tears when I was in the process of cooking some beans. Instead of opening the bean can with a can opener, I was trying to open the pan that I was to put the beans in instead. Yep that may sound funny, but it was hell to experience as I realized that I was fading away into nothingness. At the same time, If I was in the shower, I could only tell that the water was in one of the two extremes. It was either way to hot or way to cold, but I was no longer able to tell which of the two extremes it was.

Physical awareness had also reduced to zero, and so I was now 100% dependent upon visual awareness instead. Thus when I hit the sack. I could not tell if I was lying on my back or my side. Physical awareness was reduced to zero. However, if one focuses upon a specific part of the body, under normal circumstances this amplifies ones awareness of this part of the body. But in my case, since I had no physical awareness when in the dark, this brought an awareness to the conscious level concerning that part of the body ONLY. Imagine what that is like.

I also had NO short term memory. Thus if I was in a store and entered through one door and exited through another door, I had no way of telling whether or not I had used just one door as both exit and entrance since there was no short term memory at work.

Other times, if I at home watched a movie and was eating snacks and then ran out of snacks, my hand that was holding the snacks could still be being held out in front of me, despite being empty, for up to an hour before I would even notice this. This is what happens when ones awareness of ones self is reduced to close to zero.

But since this is in no way a common occurrence, it is seen by others as nothing but B.S.

That, of course, makes the situation even worse.

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