Yeah, that’s rejection for you. Every time I find some women I like, it always turns out that she doesn’t like me. And every time some women finally likes me, I usually don’t like them. Here’s the only thing I know about women. You get women by talking to them. Not exactly a revelation, but I’m naturally quiet. Usually when I am introduced to women I clam up. But the times I venture to say something halfway normal, it makes an impression on them and opens doors. It doesn’t have to be something super clever or super interesting, it can be an some innocuous observation or a comment about the weather. Just something friendly that will build a bridge between the natural gap between people.
Go for it, Nick. As for me, just don’t say forever.
same here nick. though there’s no one i like at the minute but whenever someone likes me, i don’t like them. maybe some day but not right now.
Common ground is a great tactic. Do you take any college classes? You could always start a study group with a couple of cute girls and maybe a couple of other guys (just so you don’t seem to obvious). Do you paint/draw, play music, write? Lots of girls love artists! Maybe sit around and sketch in public. Let them see how talented you are (don’t bring a computer to a coffee shop to write though, that’s just too obvious. If you are a writer go to an open mic/talent thing and show off). To quote Napolian Dynamite a girl wants a guy with skills!
Educate yourself on the arts. Then if you see a girl drawing, pause and take a look (complement her but be quick about leaving). Later talk to her about her style, what inspires her, who her favorite artists are, ect.
i’d rather be rejected than be strung along or used,
sometimes people take advantage of you when they know you like them
but then its hard to tell if they actually really like you or they are just friends
the politics between men and women absolutely baffles me, i like having women friends but i end up really liking them and i cant help it. i was gutted when i couldnt see my friends from college anymore.
I’m finding this to be true with anyone - just say something - anything if someone speaks to me. The effort counts for half.
With out it, all you have is thinking.
Thinking can be misinterpreted too easily.
I usually just make casual conversation, I dont really think about it. I get phone numbers without difficulty, but I often dont follow through or they quit on me pretty quickly. But half of the time the casual conversation is not reciprocated and I just walk the ■■■■ away and quit wasting my time and go smoke a cigarette. I get sort of mood swingy about relationships and dating, sometimes I think its a stupid ritual the precludes sex and sometimes I think it’s actually a good way to get to know someone. But I often just want tail and get frustrated. Friends with benefits (friends you have sex with but dont have a romantic relationship with) are my favorite. I just always want more attractive ones, but really attractive girls are less likely to want to be friends with benefits (they expect to be rewarded for having good genes and a pretty face by having lots of money spent on them). I know thats cynical but whatever Im not perfect.
I dunno, my psychopathic tendencies kind of have me jaded. Dating is not fun and exciting for me, its frustrating because I just want to have sex with them. I also might be bisexual. I’ve had impulses to ask guys out before. I should keep this between me and my therapist.
I like meeting new friends. So when I get introduces to some one, sure, I might not manage to chat at all the first time we meet, but I like to listen to them.
It’s when the friendship starts to grow that I start to get surprised. I’m a very ill man, why would someone want me? What is wrong with them that would want to be with me? Not very conducive thinking.
I’m working on that. As far as the friends with benefits thing? I don’t think I can do that… I have a kid sister and I would never in my life want my kid sister treated the way some guys treat other females.
Friends first, let it grow and then see what happens. But I would never want to kill a friendship over a one time encounter.