My husband’s best friend is severely depressed, borderline suicidal,
He has a history of alcoholism and drug abuse,
So my husband is understandably worried about him.
He’s been calling, drunk and asking advice.
My husband feels like its time to intervene in some way and I just know he’s about to ask me if he can come live with us.
I’m comfortable with this dude, 100%, he’s like family.
However, I don’t handle changes very well and we don’t need two very mentally ill people in our house.
I don’t know what to do or how to help this guy,
We love him.
I birthed a child and have a great relationship with him, spend time with him,
But he’s adopted by another family and doesn’t live with me.
So, no baby, just dogs.
I would if there were a lot of ground rules set first. Including at what point he would need to be hospitalized. And meds would be non negotiable.
Sorry for the wild misunderstanding.
My sister refused her own son that was on meth unless he gave it up. This was not a harsh decision but she had learned how a drug addict can get. Get him involved in a live in rehabilitation at the local shelter
I’m to old now for that sort of drama, Maybe if I knew they were doing every thing the can to get sober. If they are just there to have support and kept on the drinking and drugs, they would be shown the door pretty quick
I’d say ‘no’.
A good deed never goes unpunished…as the saying goes. Help him find lodging at the local shelter, and try to get him into a Hospital rehab program, but don’t bring this home with you.
If he’s also a drug addict, you’ll probably find your stuff missing around the house…they’ll steal anything to finance their next hit.
I talk about him so it can get confusing…
No. It would stress me out too much trying to handle someone else’s problems, because I know I would try to handle them for the other person because that’s just how I am.
Like others have said, some ground rules might be good.
Like, have him agree to go through councelling and going what he can to get sober.
And probably even get him to promise not to drink or do drugs while he stays with you.
I know this might sound selfish, but if an extremely depressed, borderline suicidal person asked to stay with me and they were not my absolutely best friend with no other options, I would worry that they would drag me down with them, and that they’d be better off at a hospital or a group home.
I’m a bleeding heart for people that need help and have nowhere else to go. Ffs we let a family of 6 move into our tiny 700 square foot apartment with us last summer for a few months until they found a new place. Before them we had a homeless friends stand with us to get back on his feet.
Thanks for all the responses!
He’s not out of places to go,
He works, has a decent place, has a loving family that would take him in, and has other friends.
Its not like he’s out on the street.
We’ve done this before,
He lived with us during the throws of some serious depression and heroin addiction,
It ended in forced rehab.
We’ll freaking have to see what my husband says about it…
Maybe you could preemptively get some supports set up for him?
Help him find a rehab, help him hire someone from care.com it something similar to help him take care of things and himself, get him a doctor and therapist if he doesn’t already have them.
This sounds like a tough dilemma.
How do other people’s moods and behaviors affect you? Do they bring you down if they are depressed, angry or whatever?
I wouldn’t let him stay if I were in your shoes. I pick up on other people’s emotions and moods too easily. I’d go down that depression spiral with him. I’m feeling so much better now, I’ll do anything to keep it that way.
I never let my severely depressed gf come live with me, so, no, I wouldn’t.
How does your husband feel about this? Isn’t he recovering from surgery and being treated for cancer? It seems like the impact, positive or negative, on his recovery should be an important factor to consider.
Yes to all that.
The friend is pretty bad off and I think its going to be more of an,
“He can stay with us until we find him an inpatient program”, kind of thing.
What a mess!
I was going to suggest that. So, nothing from me here.
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